If You Are Easily Offended Or Don't Like Parodies, Skip This

Woe is me, I have E.D.,
And have a limp wee-wee.
Bless my soul, in the hole it won't go,
So no nookie for me...Until
VIVA VIAGRA!
VIVA VIAGRA!

What is it about a bunch of guys who can't get an erection sitting around with each other moaning about their plight to an Elvis tune that is supposed to sell medication for that problem?
"Smith" and I were watching the tube and one of those bloody commercials came on, and we started joking about it. He made some comment about one of the guys singing from the side of his mouth, and before I could stop myself, I said "It's because he had a stroke...and now only half his (deleted) goes up". He lost it, and I did too.
I guess somewhere down the line karma will catch up with me, but it was funny when it happened.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

There have been several times I have said something and had it be the completely wrong thing to say. Or, what I have said has come out completely wrong, and I wound up explaining what I meant.
Luckily, I have friends who do the same thing, and a family that understands and usually takes a second or two try to figure out what I meant.
Then there are the times I'm being deliberately scathing. Like the time I told and ex-boyfriend, "We all have problems in life we have to deal with,(name deleted). Right now I have to deal with my ice cream melting in front of me. Goodbye.", and hung up the phone. My family was sitting there stunned, and then burst into laughter. I spoke truth when I called a lawyer a "scum sucking bottom-feeder". The best ones seem to come when I'm upset. Then I don't remember them later. Sometimes it's better I don't.

First:
I want to say "thank you" to my family, including my mother in law, for the wonderful time I had at my birthday dinner.

Second:
My folks were a little amazed when they heard I was letting the kids watch "Cops". (Let me say they watch religously and gave it up when the kids were over). I used to not let them watch it because the little one was too little, and the older one acted out the segments with his buddies on the school playground. (Those were interesting calls to get from principal).
Lately though, the kids had gotten some strange ideas about what the police can and cannot do. The would talk about their Dad arresting someone and shooting that person for talking trash at him, and other crazy kid stuff. So, I thought, what the heck, it can't do any more towards twisting what they thought the job is about. Plus, it gives them an idea of the things their Dad deals with when he's at work. Since watching has been allowed, the crazy talk has stopped, more questions are being asked about how the police handled themselves on the show, what Dad does at work, and to my husband's relief - the kids let him come through the door and have a few minutes to himself.
I'm sure this won't work for everyone. And I'm sure there are people who are going to read this and be shocked that I'm letting the young impressionable minds of my kids be exposed to "that".
All I have to say is this: It's our life. It's our job to raise our kids, and there's no manual to consult and we're doing the best we can. And all things considered, I think we're doing ok.

Another Weapon? Cool....

I am a: Glock Model 22 in 40 cal

What kind of handgun are YOU?

I Need A Break

I like getting away with my husband. We had a chance to get out without the kids the other night, and it was a blast. We got to have a dinner we wanted to have, and see a movie we were interested in. It was nice, and strange all at the same time. I wish we could get a break more often, but since we rely on grandparents to take the kids, we don't want to abuse it.
I am really needing "The Yearly Escape". "Smith" and I try to get away once a year without the kids. Last year's wasn't so good for me. I wound up being more tired than before we left. This year I hope it's different. I know "Smith" needs to get away, too. So, we're looking into getting out of here for a while, and looking forward to spending some time with each other.

I really need to get away from it all for a bit. To quote a song I love, "I'm going slightly mad..."

The "Strange Picture Thing"

Thought I'd give it a go...

1) What age will you be at your next birthday?

2) A place you'd like to travel?

3) Your favorite place?


4)Your favorite object?

5)Your favorite food?


6)Your favorite animal?

7)Your favorite color?

8) The town in which you were born?

9)The name of a past pet?

10)A bad habit of yours?

11)Your first job?


12)Your favorite song?

13)Your favorite holiday?

14)Your favorite sport to watch?


15)Favorite thing to do?


16)Your nickname?

17)Favorite hobby?

The question I'm adding:
18)What is your favorite foreign accent?



That was fun, long, but fun. Let's see what any trolls have to say about me now. The rest of you feel free to comment, too. ;-)

A Play on Steroetypes

This guy is having a Bad Day:


Maybe this is why: