"We Should Have Raised Puppies"

I remember as a kid when my brother/sister and/or I would fight my dad would say this. I now know it wasn't meant to sound mean or hurtful, it was a way for him to express how hurt, frustrated, and hopeless he must have felt because he couldn't figure out how to get his children to stop squabbling; but puppies could be put into separate kennels.
Now I've got kids of my own, and there have been a few times I've turned to my husband and said,"We should have raised puppies".

What Did I Just Do?

Child 2 comes out and says child 1 said he sucks. I said it's ok, go back and tell 1 that you might suck, but at least you don't swallow. Child 2 goes running of to pass on the message, garbling it to the point it couldn't be understood,( thank goodness). I stood there folding laundry wondering what the heck I'd just done!!
Oh, the joys of distracted parenting.

Did I Wake You?

Just when I finally get to the point of being ok with my older child going to his bio. father's and sleeping over, I get an early morning call that shatters ANY comfort I have. And, of course, my child is ok with what happened while I want to drive over in my pj's and bring him home. I can't do it, though. It would do too much damage to him and make him too angry.
So what, you say? You're the parent! Go get him. Well let me tell you "so what": I have worked long and hard to help this kid out. And we are finally at a point that all the work is starting to pay off. And at this fragile place, I get a call telling me something I never expected to hear. Once again this kid is going to have to deal with the loss of someone he's grown to like and trust. And once again, I get to deal with the anger directed at me because I'm the "safe" one who has always been there even if I'm not the one that does the damage, pick up any pieces, and keep on juggling without dropping anything.
Luckily, when I get to the wobbling stage, someone dear steps in and grabs a ball or three.

Look Kids, Cows!!!

I remember when we'd be in the car with the kids, see cows and they'd "moo" at the cows or comment on the cow's colors or what the cows were doing.
Fast forward a few years and now when I point cows out to them the kids react differently. Now the comments aren't "moos", the comments are:
1) Mmmmm, flank steak
2) Stew
3) Shredded beef enchiladas
4)Hamburgers
5) Steak
6) Meatballs

Bloodthirsty little carnivores.

You're Kidding Right

I love the misinformation and drama on the "cop" shows. The car is almost lost in the smoke from the gunfire...Give me a break, the "smoke" is steam from the friggin radiator. You can see the coolant running on the ground. Just watch and you can make a page long list of errors. And speaking of errors...
The other thing that gets me is how jaded some of the cops seem to be. They just mosey on up to someone all relaxed, and then get their asses kicked all over the street because they guy is an escaped convict or is just so crazy that he doesn't give a hooey. I wonder how many of those cops made sure they took their wife/girlfriend out the night the show they were on ran, just to get out of the butt-chewing they deserved for being so stupid.

Weekend Mornings

"Moon sand, moon sand, the sand that you can moon?" Wait, that can't be what they said. Ok, they said the sand that you can MOLD. .....why would you want a toy to rot? Never mind the mindless commercials during cartoons, just sip the coffee and try to wake up. "Mom can we get (insert junky toy that needs batteries, is noisy, or has easily lost parts)?" "Coffee, first cup. Talk to me later. "