Friday, May 30, 2008


I read an article about traveling with kids a while ago, and to be honest I thought most of it was the usual molly-codling nonsense that is spewed these days by people who are afraid to tell their child "No" for fear that it will somehow harm the child. (Wow, that's quite a sentence.) Well, it's worse to let a child grow up thinking it is entitled to whatever it wants. There was one thing I agreed on...Anyway, back to traveling.

We have a vehicle that is big enough for us, and then some. Even so, on longer trips and sometimes just going to the store, the car seems mighty small. We've driven through several states in one day, with the bag of books and stuff to keep the kids entertained - but I will NEVER have a DVD player in my car. Look out of the window for crying out loud.

One day in the car the boys were bickering and just wouldn't stop. We live in an area with a lot of wildlife, and the animals don't always make it across the road. The guys were arguing back and forth over some piddly kid stuff making me crazy, I'm grinding my teeth, trying not turn around and scream at them when I see salvation squished on the road. "Look kids: DEAD THING!"

Yep, what worked for the woman who wrote the article worked for me, too. The boys were too busy looking for the dead possum to argue anymore. Then I had them figure out what animal it was.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


I loved you very much. You will always have a special place in my heart. I hope Moose will have some solid memories of you, I know Snake does. For now I'll cry when I think of you. When tears turn to bittersweet smiles, I won't miss you any less, just be more used to missing you.


Sunday, May 18, 2008

Thanks To Kojak For This One

First check this out, it was my inspiration:

I was on WIC and TANF after I kicked my ex husband out. I worked my ass off to get off of TANF, but I was glad it was there as a safety net for me. And it hurt to be on it. I couldn't wait to get away from feeling like a bad parent because I couldn't provide for my child, even though everyone I knew said that TANF was set up for situations like mine.

What pissed me off was seeing the local ghetto mamas running around with the baby daddy hanging around. The mamas were getting all sorts of money even with the sperm donor in the picture. Because they weren't married she could say he wasn't around and the caseworker was so overloaded he/she couldn't really check out the situation thoroughly. And the baby daddy was most likely dealing drugs, or was a runner or lookout for the dealer and got a cut.

I've seen them rolling around in the Lexus, and from the dealer's license frame, I could tell they got the 10+ year car loan.There are all sorts of car dealers that will pull out all the stops as long as someone will co-sign for them.

I worked in a group home for adults with developmental disabilities and the house manager used the SSN of a client with a half-million dollar trust fund to co-sign for her new car. I thank The Powers That Be that she was finally caught, and question why it took so bloody long for it to happen.I've seen so much abuse of the system, it makes me ill to think of some of the things that I can recall.

I went to elementary school with a kid who used to come hang out with us because we "had food and we don't", according to him. He went hungry so the beast that spawned him could drive a Cadillac. I've seen kids walking to the same school this year eating dry ramen noodles. DRY RAMEN NOODLES, for crying out loud, breaking off a little piece and crunching as he walked. (You can always tell when they've been on sale.)

I try not to make snap judgments when I see food stamps or the card come out at the store. But when the people taking them out are decked out in "bling" and designer clothes - and I don't give a crap if they were purchased at Ross or Marshall's, it's abuse of the system and misuse of funds.

All the money should have to be accounted for. Receipts should be turned in to an auditing department or audited by caseworkers. People should be taught how to shop, and how to make choices that are going to stretch the money as far as it will go. How the hell do people who get handouts think the rest of us do it.

I know there are people on aid who genuinely need the help, and use it wisely. I also know, and have seen with my own eyes, the people who have the attitude that just because they produced crtochfruit, they deserve a handout. That makes my blood boil.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Dear Dog Owner

You know who you are. You are the one carrying "Precious" in your arms at the grocery store because it has "panic attacks" when it gets left in the car. You are the one saying "Oh, he's friendly, he'd never bite anyone" while it's chasing a kid because it's not on a leash. You are in Sears with your pit bull puppy because you don't trust your neighbors not to steal it from your yard while you are gone. You are the one pushing your freaking dog in a cart at Best Buy because you don't think the freaking rules apply to you and "Precious".

Well, guess what? Unless "Precious" is a service dog wearing a vest identifying it as such, you need to get it the f**k out of the store. Interesting thing called Health Codes prohibit animals from being in the store. The "panic attacks", well, those are something to bring up with your vet - and I don't think you're gonna find him on aisle 6 next to the shampoo, you stupid twat. And If you would treat your dog like a dog, instead of the crotch fruit you either couldn't have or won't speak to you because you are such a f****d up parent, the dog wouldn't have that "issue". Your friendly dog? I filed a vicious dog report with Animal Control because some a**hole's "friendly" dog nipped Moose twice. Worried about your pit disappearing - here's a radical idea that probably would never cross your dope addled brain: IF YOUR DOG IS REALLY A PET, KEEP IT INSIDE INSTEAD OF ON A CHAIN IN THE BACK YARD FOR IT'S WHOLE LIFE. If your dog can't walk and you feel it needs to be in a cart when you go shopping, don't leave home to shop. You see, in these modern days we have an amazing little thing called the Internet. And even better, you can purchase just about everything on the Internet. So you don't have to leave "Precious" at home alone or have it be uncomfortable in a cart. To the Moron who thinks his "friendly" dog won't bite, here's a news flash for you: 1)YOUR DOG HAS TEETH FOR A REASON. 2)IT IS A HERDING DOG AND NIPS TO GET THE OTHER ANIMAL'S ATTENTION. So please, keep it on a leash unless you want to find it's not coming back to you because my foot is planted down it's throat to keep my kids safe from you because you obviously think leash rules don't apply to you.

And to Shelly from Best Buy: Don't give me a bulls**t story about how there is no company policy about non-service dogs being in the store, because Jeremy at the customer service number said there most certainly was. Just because you don't want to deal with the female creature who walks on two legs and is the "Human Companion" of "Precious" spazzing out at you. Honey, it's part of your job, deal with it.

Before anyone who is still reading this stops, let me tell you I REALLY do love dogs. I grew up with usually at least one dog in our home, and it was just not right when we didn't have one. My ex and I rescued a dog that had been living on the street for almost a year. I worked with him every day and he turned into one of the gentlest creatures I've ever known. He tested my ex a lot, we got things straightened out pretty quickly. (I'm going to call this dog Fido for the rest of this post). Fido learned I was the boss and he relaxed around me. There was one day the ex, Fido, and I walked to the corner store and got popsicles. I ate mine and held Fido's out for him while the ex ate his. Fido loved the cherry/pineapple popsicles.

He was great with the kids, too. The only time he snapped at Snake was when Snake was three, and every time I turned my back on him, he tried to gouge out Fido's eyes with his thumbs. Fido backed up a step or three, yipped, and snapped at the air. To Snake's amazement, he was the one who got scolded, Fido got love, cuddles, and praise for being a good dog and not actually biting Snake. (I would have understood if Fido had bitten him). When Moose was born, he "asked" if he could sniff Moose. Fido did, oh so gently, then sniffed again. He walked away wagging his tail trying to figure out where Moose fit in the family pack. I felt absolutely safe leaving the boys in Fido's care in my parent's yard. He was an excellent baby sitter.

When we had to put him down I was devastated. I will never have another dog like Fido again. He was an amazing friend, and I grieve because I don't have more pictures of him. He lived out his life at my parents because he couldn't climb the stairs to our home, and he had dog friends there as well as cat friends. He was taught manners and when he forgot them, he was reminded quickly.

I'm fed up with people thinking they and their dogs are special and above the rules. Yes, moron, you are unique...just like everyone else. To all the responsible dog owners, thank you. To all the irresponsible ones, I hope you slip in your dog's poo and bust your head open.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

A Generation Ends, A Generation Begins

*Our kids are being given Official Blog Names tonight: Snake, the older boy, and Moose, the younger boy*

We are dealing with the last days of the long life of my Grandmother-In-Law, (Gramma). Gramma is a beautiful woman I feel honored to know. She took me into her home and life without a second thought. She argued with me over who was going to wash dishes after a dinner made for her, (she lost-I got into the kitchen first). We had a no-holds-barred argument one night that had us in tears and apologizing to each other later. Gramma told me a lot about her life, and I wish I could have heard more and recorded it so the kids could know more about her. She has lived a long life and passed on many of her wonderful qualities to Smith, like her kindness, and we have been trying to pass those basic qualities to the kids.
I had a long talk with my ex earlier today about Snake. He has been having long talks with a man that the ex's wife's godmother knows from her church. This man comes to the godmother's house,( the ex lives in the in-law unit in the back of the property), and does yard work. Apparently this man is homeless, and Snake has spent time,(supervised, Smith, don't spaz), talking with him and learning how he got to where he is now. This man is a Vietnam Vet, and was surprised that some fairly well off kid would be interested in his life's story. The ex says Snake has been out with him and seen people who look hungry on the street and given them his pocket change. (I know there are a lot of people scamming on the street. I can usually tell when someone is trying to get money for food as opposed to sitting there jonesing and trying to get enough money to score. I've pointed the difference out to the kids.)
Snake is not the easiest kid to deal with. But he's shown he's kind, thinks of other people, and can size people up. I'm glad the lessons have been sinking in. I'm glad those lessons were given to me and Smith, with all the differences of opinion we have it's good the core values are the same. And I'm glad we've managed to teach those lessons to Snake. I'm sure Moose is getting them, too.
The faces change, but the basic lessons stay the same, generation to generation.