Saturday, December 27, 2008


Sorry I haven't been around. (And yes, I know this isn't the most titillating reading on the blogosphere, so thank you!) Smith and I have been recovering from Christmas, and the days before.

On my side, all I'm going to say is migraines suck. If I never go through another day with my head throbbing, light hurting my eyes after making everything shimmery, and saying "large cold box where we store food" because I can't remember the word "refrigerator", life would be as close to perfect as it can get.

Both of us wound up staying up until 2am Christmas Eve wrapping stuff. The kids woke me up at 6:30am, and I explained to them I would be a good idea if they let us sleep a little longer. (That's the best way to describe the hissing I did through clenched teeth.) So I went back to bed and tried to sleep. Unfortunately, my Mom Powers turned on, and I sort of floated between sleep and being awake because I was listening to the kids up front. We dragged our tired butts out of bed at 8am, to the delight of Snake and Moose.

The ripped open their loot, becan playing with it, and I made breakfast. Later on, we went to my Brother's. We were supposed to be out of there around 4pm. I think it was closer to 7pm. We still had a great time and there was no drama!

Then to my folks, where the kids got yet another present installment. Lucky brats. We finally got home around 9pm. Somehow, our plans for getting to bed early fell by the wayside. We wound up going to bed at 2am again.

So after two nights of little sleep, and a brain that decided to short circuit earlier in the week, I don't know why I was surprised by how late we slept on the 26th. I think I was more surprised that my Mom Powers didn't work. The kids had been up for hours, quietly playing while we slept until 12:30pm. Yup, that late.

Today, after a decent night's sleep, I feel human again. I'm sure the shower I'm hoping to take will help even more.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Public Evesdropping

Overheard while at Toys R Us:

Man to woman: "...and I'm interested in this woman, and I can't hold it against her that she's got Baby Daddies, because I've got children by a few different women myself."

Woman nods at man.

WTH???? Photobucket

Sunday, December 14, 2008


We took the kids to cut down a tree today, and wound up getting so much more.

On our drive up to a favorite area of ours, we stopped for lunch. While we were eating, the rain change to slush, then small flakes, then HUGE flakes as we were on our way to the car. It was melting, so we didn't need the cables we brought, but I was glad we'd brought them with us.

So we left and continued on our drive to the tree farm. The snow kept coming down. It started to stick to some of the trees and bare branches, turning the dive into a treat the kids had never seen before. There was a pasture that was covered in snow with a pond close to the fence, and three horses were scraping the snow away to get at the grass underneath.

We got to the tree farm and it was beautiful. The trees were dusted with snow, and the boys were so excited to be there. We tromped around until we found our tree. The young man who was working drove out his tractor to the area where the type of tree we wanted was. Then we wandered around until we found our tree. The boys and Smith each took a turn sawing at it.

It stayed snowing the whole time we were there. Big soft flakes that we caught on our tongues and we listened to the snow crunch under our feet. It was a magical day.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

What A Turn Around

Anyone remember when I said this? Well, things have changed, A LOT. There was ice on Smith's windshield this morning, the kids are bugging me for their pj's, and we pulled the big-a$$ California King sized comforter onto the bed. It is 2:14pm, and it's a balmy 49F degrees. Brr.

I'm waiting for the rain to descend upon us next.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Mmmmm, I Love It


Yup, it's that time again. Off to the dentist! (You all have dirty minds!!)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Traffic Woes

The traffic at Moose's school has been awful since Snake was in kindergarten there. There are parents who park in the disabled hash-marks area, and get pissy if someone with a disabled placard asks them to move. ( What is it with Camaro drivers???) The cars are so backed up on the road people drive on the wrong side just to get past the school. And I don't know how many times I've seem kids almost get hit while they were walking in the crosswalk!!!

So one afternoon when I went to get Moose and saw the same waste of oxygen parked in the hash-marks for the third day in a row, I called our police department and let them know he was there. I also told them about the other craziness as well. Then I walked off to wait for my little guy.

After school let out and we were walking to the car, what did we see? A traffic enforcement truck, and a man in a uniform telling people they couldn't park in the red zones, the jerk in the Camaro had been told to move and not park there any more, and people were told to circle around the block and come back for their kid.

They have been back several days since the first, and when I spoke with one of them, he said he didn't believe how bad it was. It's gotten much better, the parents see him standing there with his "Traffic Enforcement" truck parked down the street and they just continue on around the block.

The funniest thing that's happened so far happened yesterday. A woman was in the lane across from the school and was right in front of me. She stopped and motioned for her child to run across the street to her car, like she has him do every day. He just looked at her, and with a panicked voice yelled to her, "I can't mom, there's a policeman there!!!".

Even he had to laugh about that.

And the mom who is up for Parent Of The Year? She actually pulled into the parking lot to get her kid for a change.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Way To Go Guys!!!


A standoff at a New Jersey bank is over after police learned a "person" seen inside was actually a full-size cardboard figure.

Officers went to the PNC Bank in Montgomery Township on Thursday night after an alarm went off. They saw what they thought was at least one person through the windows of the bank, which had its blinds drawn.

The area was sealed off and three nearby apartment buildings were evacuated as a precaution. Meanwhile, authorities used bullhorns and made telephone calls in a bid to make contact with whoever might be in the bank.

After repeatedly failing to get a response, a SWAT team entered the building and discovered the cardboard figure.

It was not immediately clear what set off the bank alarm.

I'm so glad that didn't happen around here....


Thursday, November 27, 2008

Best Wishes to All

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I hope you have full bellies, homes filled with people you love, and love filling your hearts. Enjoy your day!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Things Heard Around The Smith Household

1) "If you have an open heart, doesn't that mean you're bleeding?" "Ya, that's kind of a bitch isn't it?"

2) "Mom, is it legal to have a flame thrower in California?" ( [The answer is NO!!!] And it's not legal either.)

3) "You're a dirty rat. Hey guys, time to clean this cage."

4) "Quit sniping at the door and get ready for bed!"

5) "Stop shooting your brother!"

6) "Mom, can we jump the car?" "No, it's a minivan, they don't jump that well."

This is just a brief snippet of the commentary that fills up our days. Hope you enjoy!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Teaching An Attitude of Gratitude...

...Is a tough job.

About a week ago Snake, Moose, and I went to a toy store because Moose had a gift card from his birthday he wanted to spend. When we got there, there were two Marines standing outside with a big box between them and a local news reporter being filmed.

The boys asked what why the Marines were there, so I explained the Toys For Tots program to them. I asked Moose if he wanted to get a small toy for some child. At first he said "no", but I told him that there were other kids out there whose only Christmas present was going to be from another person who got a toy and put in the Toys For Tots box.

I reminded Moose and Snake how good they have it. We may be in an apartment and not a house, but they have a roof over their heads. They may have come in from running around hungry or wandered into the kitchen saying they were "starving", but there has always been food for them to eat. They may have been chilly; they've always had a warm jacket to put on and decent shoes on their feet. And they have more toys than they can play with.

Moose picked out a Lightning McQueen Hot Wheels type car. He said that it would be a good toy for another little boy.

Snake and I went back to the toy store later that week. He wanted to get the Nerf gun Smith wrote about here. I reminded him he had to pick something out for the Toys For Tots box, and he just said, "I know, Mom".

He'd already told me about the Lego kit he wanted to get. It came with a person and a car. Not big, but acceptable. Snake rambled into the store and got his coveted Nerf gun. Then he wandered over to the Lego section. I showed him something along the lines of what we'd talked about.

Snake looked at me and said he didn't want to get "that". I opened up my mouth to remind him what he'd agreed on, and he stopped me right in mid-breath.

He reached for a kit that had a person, a boat, and a car. This kit cost $5.00 more than the first kit he wanted to get. Snake said, "I'm bigger, and I have more money. I can get something bigger for a bigger kid, like me". I was blown away.

I am so proud of how willing the boys were to get a toy for someone they will probably never meet or know what the child thought of the toy. We talked about it and the boys are going to do this every year from now on.

Things are financially tight for everyone, us included. But, all things included, we have it pretty good. If I can teach what generosity means and how to be generous when times are lean, what will the boys do when they have more?

Monday, November 17, 2008

....But It's November

Two nights ago we had the sliding glass door open around 8pm. And what should drift in though it? No, not dope smoke, we haven't had that happen since this episode.

No, we had the chirping of crickets coming in!!!!! It's November. I'm ready for the cold and rain, cooking soups and stews and baking things. It's not supposed to be 80F degrees!!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

And Then The Alarm Went Off

This morning I woke up Snake and Moose for school, and they decided to lie in bed for another 10 minutes. When I next went in and turned on the light, and opened the blinds. Snake said he was waiting for Moose to get up and use the bathroom before he got into the shower. My response?

"WOOP WOOP! Do you hear that? That's my BS alarm going off. Now get up!!"

Yup, it was a regular morning around the Smith home.


Monday, November 10, 2008

So You Think You Know Me?

Contrary to what people might think of me from what's been posted on hubby's blog I'm not a "Liberal". Nor am I "elitist", just educated.

Do I believe we need to help out people whose lives were wrecked and want/need help to get out of a jam? Hell, yes. I've been there, with a three month old and a husband I just kicked out the door for heroin addiction and being unwilling to kick it and stop selling my belongings off to feed his addiction. (Thank goodness I was nursing and didn't have to buy formula!)

Do I think that going to college makes me or anyone else "Elite"? Hell, no. I think it shows interest in a bigger picture. Do I believe what the US television news tells me? Nope, I read newspapers. I also get info from the internet, and the BBC news. Yes, I do. (And if someone special is reading, too effin' bad.) They don't have the same view of events that happen here, and it's interesting to get a different perspective on issues.

You think that because I'm a member of the,(let's spell this correctly, kiddies), DemocratIC party, I'm against gun ownership or the second Amendment to our Constitution? Guess what? I sold guns until the county put me out of business. I'd love to see the laws that are already in place enforced instead of knee-jerk, let's-do-something-now laws passed.

Or maybe I think immigrants should be able to walk across our borders and get free medical care and schooling? Nope. (Sorry, Mom, you should stop reading now.) The woman who broke her legs falling on our side of the wall and got the copter ride to the hospital? Scoop her up and dump her back on the other side. "No licencia, no problema" car dealership? Strip their business license and put them under an audit that will make their unborn grandchildren sweat.

Then again...there is another side. Taking jobs away from Americans? Oh, ya, I see people lined up to pick veggies here in California all day long. Yup, they're being passed over for immigrants for sure. And policies like NAFTA, that looked good on paper and were put in place that drove corn prices down to the point that Mexican farmers can't feed their families, so they struggle to come here. Let's just kick them back to where they came from and let them starve, while our farmers struggle to get crops in to feed us. You betcha, sounds great doesn't it.

There's no simple solution. But I'm tired of simplistic ideas. And people who can't see things from another point of view.

You think you know me now?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

What Did You Call Me?

My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Ass Machine Lobos.
What's yours?
Powered by Rum and Monkey.


Yes, We Can

And despite nasty, underhanded trickery, we did!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Quit Yelling At Me

Is anyone else as tired of Billy Mayes yelling at them as I am? Shut up already, you greasy f*ck.

Not a happy morning.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Three Of My Favorite Words

Ass-fault: The butt crack that is visible when pants are too short

Crotchfruit: Horrible child(ren)

Loindropping(s): See above

I know I've used the last two before, but they're so descriptive. If you have any favorites, let me know.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I Keep Telling Smith We Don't Have It That Bad

Whenever Snake and Moose are driving me crazy or teasing each other, I check out an episode of "Nanny911". A few minutes of watching the screaming, bad-mannered, ill-tempered, rotten crotchfruit on that show, and the ineptitude of some of the parents who can't figure out basic parenting skills, I feel much better about the way our kids act and our parenting skills.

Some of those kids can't sit down at the table at home, and taking them to even a fast-food place is a nightmare. Snake was four days old when he was plunked down on a restaurant table for the first time in his carrier. Moose was three days old when he went to the park the first time because Snake needed to run around after being inside for several days.

Believe it or not, we had waiters arguing over what section we were going to sit in when Snake was a toddler, and also later when he was older and Moose was in a high chair. Why? Because when one of them would get restless, we'd take him outside to run around a while. We also understood that kids make messes, and when there was food scattered all over the floor or a drink had been spilled, we left an extra large tip. There were even times when I found out who was busing our section and apologized for the mess and gave him a few dollars.

Our kids aren't perfect, far from it. Snake is going through the mouthy stage, and he and Moose have a tendency to not hear us if they are engrossed in something and don't want to stop.
And at times they go at each other so badly I want to shove them up their own bums until they disappear in a pouf of greasy smoke. Yes, Snake did accidentally stab Moose with a bamboo spear. But they've never dropped a laundry basket from the second floor onto the head of the other, either.

Sometimes I get frustrated and want to leave them on the side of the road. But we really don't have it that bad. I love my guys.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Working Things Out

A while ago, my Mom had a medical emergency and needed me to get her to the hospital and stay with her for almost 12 hours while she was treated. And I spent the night with her, since she was house sitting and away from Dad. (She's alright now.) But getting it all set up so I could be there for her was a little crazy.

I was able to stay with Mom for a few reasons: I have a great kid in Snake, who was able to hang out by himself until Smith got home. A wonderful friend with a daycare who was willing to get Moose. Her son is friends with him and Moose knows a lot of the other kids there, too. But most of all, because of Smith.

He picked up Moose, and figured out dinner and got them set up with clothes out for the next morning. He got the guys off to school and worked out how Snake was going to deal with going away for the weekend. He did all the "Smith" stuff, the "Mrs. Smith" stuff, and he did it well.

Most of all, he moved his schedule around so he could go in a little later in the day and get the guys to school. His boss was ok about it once it was explained to him. Of course it helps that Smith is great at what he does, and is willing to go the extra mile, so they will let him shuffle times around when an emergency comes up.

Smith, I love you for understanding how important my parents are to me. I love that you don't feel put out when I need to help them with something. I love how you step up and take over at home without complaining - I've got jealous friends behind that. I love how you know that I can help out my parents as much as I do, and still be able to give you and the boys the love and care you and our home needs. I love how you can support me because you know you can rely on my support.

I love you more and more as time goes by. Thank you for your love and our life together. You are my:
Knight In Shiney Armour

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Morning Mirth

I love my local morning news team. This morning they ran a story about Darth Vadar - oops, Dick Cheney, having an irregular heartbeat. It was explained how he went into the hospital and it was taken care of. Then came the zinger: "Coming up, Dick Cheney has a heart." !

Then "Joe Plumber" was brought up... The female anchor said,"They spoke a lot about Joe Plumber last night." The male anchor said, "We'll find out more about him, and where he wears his pants." (Plumber-butt, get it?) All the female anchor could do was press her lips together and close her eyes. You could tell she was trying hard not to laugh. Since I was sitting at home, I did laugh.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Officer Moody's Funeral/Memorial

The service was beautiful. Susan Moody spoke, and I was amazed by how strong she is. She made sure Brad Moody lives on, his heart is beating in another person: one last chance for him to take care of another person.

I am glad Richmond PD is giving Rico to Susan and her girls. When she rubbed his head before leaving the stage he went into "Happy Mode", did a full body wag, and took a step after her before the handler he was with tugged his leash.

I really hate how he died, and agree with what Smith posted on the subject: Another Very Bad Day .

It's been a very long day, and a big thank you to Snake and Moose for being great guys tonight.

Monday, October 13, 2008

New Blog I Found

I found this blog: married2thelaw . She's just started, and I hope other folks who stop by here go there and say hi.

Christain Values?

Let me preface this post with this: I am not trying to slam Christians, I'm just questioning.

When did it become "Christian" to molest children, and hide the people who did it. Or to systematically marry off FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLS TO GROWN MEN OLD ENOUGH TO BE THEIR FATHERS?

When did it become "Christian" to steal from "a woman, she's in her 60's, in Texas,watching now, you have back pain...send $20 and put your hands on the tv screen, you will be alright"?

When did hate become a "Cristian" value. Spewing vitriol towards people unfortunate enough to contract a disease that will eventually kill them, that's alright? Yelling out and holding signs that say, "God hates Fags", a righteous thing to do?

Protecting a fetus and forcing a woman to face what could be the most violent experience of her life every day is alright? What happens after the child is born? If it wasn't wanted in the first place, and the woman was forced to leave school to be an incubator, do you think the child will be loved? What do you think the chances are that child winds up abused in one form or another? And please, DON'T bring up that tired story about people wanting to adopt a baby. That baby has to be pretty damn lucky to be adopted if it isn't what is in demand. The kid will more than likely be "raised" in foster care and be completely fucked up when kicked out of the system at 18.

Listening to certain political candidates, you would think hate is high on the list. Whipping people into a frenzy and smiling when someone yells, "Kill him!", is the right thing to do? Praying for money is ok? Driving out "witches" and "demons",(people who don't agree with you or you don't like), is "Christian"?

So tell me, please, when did the basic message of being kind to other people, and helping those who had less turn into "I'm going to lie my way out of embarrassing situations, steal from old folks, turn away from those who need help the most, forget about compassion, and you have to be a walking incubator because someone somewhere might want that unwanted parasite growing in you"?

As I said before, I'm not slamming anyone, but if this is the basis of religion today, it's no wonder the world is going to hell in a handbaket.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

October Is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

My Grandmother had breast cancer . She survived and lived several more years.

My Mom had a premenopausal soft mass discovered when she was in her 40's. She is now an 18 year survivor. She is my hero for all she went through, and copes with every day.

My Mother-in-law had a lump removed last year in January,(2007). My Christmas 2006 gift to her was to take her to and from surgery, be there when she needed help, and fix a huge pot of chicken noodle soup for her.

I had my first mammogram when I was 30. I was called in for a sonogram because they weren't sure about what they saw on the mammogram. The sonogram tech called in a doctor because she wasn't sure about what she saw. (During all this my 2 1/2 year old son played with cars on the floor of the exam room.)

The doctor walked me though the inner hallways of the hospital to get another mammogram, right then and there. He stuck around and read the x-rays as soon as they came out. Luckily for me, it was just dense tissue.I was still alright 5 years later when I went back for my second mammogram. When I turn 40, I get to have the girls smushed every year to be safe.

Please take care of yourself. This goes for the guys out there, as well. You may not know it, but men can get breast cancer, too. It is not as common, but it happens to you tough guys as well.

There is a wonderful site:, to help women who can't afford mammograms. You can click their button once a day, and at the end of the day the clicks are tallied up and the corporate sponsors of the site pay for mammograms.

Monday, October 6, 2008

I'm Not A Virgin Anymore!

Well, I sure feel special today. I got my first spam! And of all things, it was for Bollywood widgets. I'm not quite sure why I got that one, hopefully there won't be many more.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

K9 Team In Richmond In Accident

Officer Brad Moody and Rico were in an accident earlier today. Officer Moody didn't make it, no word on Rico yet.

Rico came through alright.

It's About Time

Simpson Found Guilty of Kidnap, Robbery Charges

Ex-football star could spend rest of life in prison over crimes in Las Vegas

(This is his best "What do you mean, I'm not getting away with it?" face.)

Justice is served.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Ah, The Sweet Smell

The other night we were enjoying the cool air coming in through the sliding door, when the fragrance of pot smoke came wafting into our place from our neighbors downstairs.

I went to the door and took a deep breath.

Then proceeded to bellow, "I just LOVE getting a contact high from my neighbors' dope smoke!!!!". Then I slammed the sliding door shut, stomped across the floor to the bathroom and slammed that door, too.

According to Smith, Moose sat there speechless and Snake said,"That's it, Mom's lost her mind."
All I know is that I haven't smelled anymore smoke yet.

That Can't Be What S/He Said...

"Rolls Royce, give me no choice" from Come Out And Play by The Offspring. (This one was from Snake. I've listened, and I don't hear it, but it was funny whwn he told me.)

"I've heard it all before, sell doughnuts at my door" from When I Come Around by Green Day.

"Special K-Y dispenser, listen carefully" from the Erasure cover of Take A Chance On Me by ABBA.

"Beat it out, jeeper jeeper, just throw it away" from Bleed It Out by Linkin Park. (This one was from Moose. Imagine a five year old belting out that line in the car!)

Sometimes I don't hear things right. At times, what I thought I heard is hilarious, and others leaves me asking, "What the heck was that?". I remember when Snake was in kindergarten and his teacher and I were talking. Snake came up and said something, and what I heard his teacher say was, "I'm going home and starting a family".

I asked her what she said because "I know it's not what I thought I heard". She asked me what I thought I'd heard, and when I told her she laughed so hard she had tears coming out of her eyes. She got it because she does the same thing. By the way, she said something completely different.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Well, who knew?

You are a

Social Liberal
(61% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal
(18% permissive)

You are best described as a:


Link: The Politics Test on Free Online Dating
Also : The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Actually, it's kinda what I figured.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Welcome To The Party!

Hullo, Officer Wright! I didn't realize you'd linked me. Well, I've returned the favor. Hope you can deal with my views, lol.

On Crotchfruit And Loindroppings

Birth control and abortion,(no matter how ugly it is), must stay legal. After all who wants even a chance of being related to these two:


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A Few Angry Thoughts

To Congress in regards to the Wall Street/ Banking bailout fiasco:

Make the guys who ruined these companies give every "bonus" they were given back to the company. Take back every penny from their salaries and put it back into the pension funds that have been decimated. If the money isn't in their bank accounts, make them sell their multiple houses, sell the jewelry they've given their wives,(and mistresses), any large deposits made to their children's bank accounts and NEVER let them hold a position of power OR consult for ANY company on Wall Street or in banking.

Also, Republican "leaders": Pull your heads out of your butts and realize that we are in this mess because of a lack of oversight and deregulation. If you set the fox to guard the hen house inside the hen house, don't get your undies in a bunch when the eggs run low and pretend to care when your family goes hungry.

Hi There, World!

Wow, I never thought that anyone in Abu Dhabi, UAE; Liepaja, Latvia; or Bucharest, Romania, would show up at my blog! Hello to you and everyone else. I hope you've had a chuckle or two and will come back to say hello and leave a comment.

I don't think I have a very exciting life, but it's mine and I like it. At least most of the time I do. The funerals I've been to this year were a low point. My kids make me laugh, and drive me crazy. I am a fixture in the office at their schools making sure they get what they need. I'm close to my parents, love my brother, and wonder about my sister. (There's always one in the family that you're never quite sure where they hatched from.)

I'm interested in hearing as many voices that are willing to post. I keep all comments - even the ones I don't agree with. If you want my opinion on something send me an email, and I'll try to do a post on it.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

I like What She Has To Say

I found this blog and have been reading the archives. I am THOROUGHLY enjoying reading her.

Especially this post:

Decisions, Decisions

I love cooking, and cooking shows. I also get a big kick out of Tony Bourdain tearing certain "chefs" up one side and down the next. His show 'No Reservations" is a blast. He's eaten things I wouldn't go near, but there have also been several that I'd like to try.

I also love Rodeo, especially bull riding. Believe me, if it's on the tube, I will find it.

So imagine my conundrum this morning when bull riding and Tony were on at the same time! I was lucky, though. Tony was repeat. Bring on the bulls!!!!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Comments To Ads

Woman on commercial: "You know that song 'Time in A Bottle'? Well, I've got it."

Me at tv: "I've got thyme in a bottle, too, twit. It's in my spice cabinet!"

Snake on floor, laughing his butt off. Just another night at home...

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Laugh Time

We were out with Moose, (Snake was elsewhere), and he said he was hungry. We were getting there, but you know how it is when you're not really hungry, and we didn't know what we wanted.

I asked Moose, "What do you want: Japanese, Chinese, American?"

He looked me in the eye and said, "I don't know, maybe gibberish?"


Monday, September 15, 2008

Almost My Favorite Plane

This is a SICK plane! I waited for the demo of the Raptor during the air show we were just at quite impatiently. And when they fired up the engines, I have no idea what was going on in front of me, because at that point I didn't give a shit. I also stood on the benches,(and I don't do that normally). This plane is AMAZING!!!! Enjoy the video

My favorite plane is still the U2 - I watched it circle around and around, climbing higher and higher for half an hour with a sleeping kid on my lap at one show. I was waiting to see it disappear from sight, but missed it when I had to turn my head to repeat myself. Someday I hope to get a second chance.

Friday, September 12, 2008

We're Still Here...Sort Of

Our internet is having problems, so I'm using my folks computer for this.

Sgt. Starzyk's memorial was yesterday.

It was moving, at times funny, and absolutely heartbreaking when his wife's sobs could be heard throughout the pavilion.

This was the first police funeral/memorial I've been to, and I hope I never have to go to one for any Officer I know.

For the first time since Smith started working, I've worried when he's walked out the door. In the last 5 days I've lost 10 pounds and been running on nerves, because I'm not sleeping much either. It's affected Snake, too. He's been giving more hugs than usual. Moose doesn't seem to have noticed, and to be honest I've turned off the news when it's rolled around to this story.

A flag is no replacement for a husband or wife, or mom or dad. I never want one. You hear me Smith?

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Quotes and Frustration

-"Robbing a police station is like dating OJ Simpson, it's just something you don't do." Unknown

-"Wars against nations are fought to change maps; wars against poverty are fought to map change." - Muhammad Ali

-"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity." Unknown

-"Mmm, grahlic, gorlious grahlic." Moose, passing through thekitchen while dinner is being cooked.

-Here's an odd question: Why is sex such a hot button topic and people get all upset about sex ed in schools, but it's alright for Mike Rowe to basically "fist" a cow on national tv in a time slot that can be seen by kids?

-I really want to get back to the gym. But every time I start up again, something comes up or I get hurt, and I'm getting really discouraged. It's kind of like why should I try when I manage to get one day in and something goes wrong. And that's sad, because I like going to the gym and feel guilty about us paying for the membership and not going. It's very frustrating.

Monday, August 25, 2008

This Is News?

OK, my sarcastic ass is watching "morning news" and the "bubbly" female anchor is talking with a field reporter about her trip to Beijing for the Olympics. They were talking about the air quality, and she said that the weather was beautiful when she was there. He commented how lucky she was, then she said she went to the Great Wall "and inhaled". ...No kidding, doesn't everyone, I mean that is part of breathing, right? Then she went on to say how surprised she was about how "modern" Beijing was. Once again, my mouth took off and I blurted out: "What were you expecting, mud huts?".

Where do they get these people? C'mon.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Go Get Him!!!

Smith and I were watching Moose play his "Cars" video game. He's making McQueen drive all over, bounce into walls and other cars. I commented on how badly he was driving this morning compared to last night. Just then, he pulled something that had us look at each other and both Smith and I said, "That was a pretty good 'PIT'".

On the other hand, Snake will be back later. Then we get out clothes for the first day of school. They made it through the summer! Now we'll see about this school year.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Quit Being Greedy!!!!

George Lucas has a new "Star Wars" movie coming out. Why? The fist one was pretty good. (And I'm going in the order the movies came out, I don't buy the whole "I had a vision I couldn't realize until now" bullshit.) The second was ok. Then there was the third. The dancing Ewoks? Blow up the Deathstar and everything is fine? Riiiiiiight. Then there were the abominations that were the second trio of movies that were released. Thankfully I don't remember much about them,unfortunately I do remember them being horrible.

If you want to get the first three movies on DVD you can, but they've got a whole bunch of extra crap added to them. You see, there wasn't the technology for Georgie to do what he wanted to do with the movies. Awww, too bad-no, wait, I don't really mean that. I wasn't going to get them anyway, but it would be nice to have a choice other than VHS.

I remember the toys being cool. And we had a ton of action figures. My Brother had a Millennium Falcon that lit up and made noise. Too bad he left it at a friend's house and the friend took it into the bathtub and ruined it. He also had an X-wing. My sister had a Tie-fighter. I don't remember what I had.

These days, it's the toys, action figures, Legos, video games, and whatever else can be thought up to have kids begging their parents to spend money on. And, the stuff comes out before the bloody movie!!!

I saw the preview for "Spend Now-Gimme Money", hold was "star wars-clone wars". I couldn't believe it. Doesn't George Lucas have enough money without foisting another lousy "tie-in" movie on us? And it's as if he knows he's lost the adult audience because this is an animated movie.

Who's going to be clamoring to see it? At this point it's just the star wars nerds and kids! I already told my kids there was no way I was going give George any more money for the Star Wars stuff that he's churning out. I refuse to rent any of the movies. And if I should ever run into him, I've got one thing to say to him: " Quit already and stop being greedy!!!".

Monday, August 11, 2008

What Did You Say?

....That's what my friend said to me today after I got off the phone with Smith. Let me explain, first I called called his cell phone. It was after noon, I expected him to answer. When he didn't, I called home where he did answer. The conversation went like this:

Him: Hello

Me: Hi, I guess you don't have your pants on, do you?

(Now pick your mind up out of the gutter!)

Him: Nope, I've still got my shorts on, my jeans are in the bedroom.

Me: This is going to make an interesting blog entry.

Hope you liked it!!! We try to have a good time around here.

You Made It!!!

Happy Birthday to you, Moose! I hope you enjoyed it, and gt what you wanted. You are a great kid, frustrating at times but also thoughtful beyond your tender years. I love you lots, too!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Here's To You, Kid!

Happy Birthday, Snake, I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's hard to believe you've been around for as long as you have. Even though there are times I wanted to trade you in for a puppy, I wouldn't have you any other way but as you are.

I love you lots.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Don't Call Them "Light Bulbs"...

..because they aren't. They are Dark Suckers. Turn on a Dark Sucker and look at the area around it. Go ahead, this will be here when you get back...see how the area closest to the Dark Sucker is brighter than an area farther away? That's because the Dark Sucker is only effective for a certain distance from it. The bigger and more powerful the Dark Sucker is, the more dark it can suck up. And, they don't "burn out", they're just full of dark and need to be replaced.

Get it?

Friday, August 1, 2008

"How Do They Turn On Those Switches?"

Such an innocent question uttered by Moose at dinner. We went out to eat, and on the wall close to the ceiling were what looked like switch plates. I just couldn't help myself...I felt it starting before I knew what I was doing.

"Ceiling Gnomes. There are gnomes that live and work up there. They get to the switch by taking out the light fixture and then they use tools that reach the switch. The Ceiling Gnomes are also in charge of replacing the light bulbs when they go out, too."

I can't help it, things like this just flow from me. What's worse is Smith goes along with it.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Coffee...We Don't Need No Stinking Coffee!

Hmmm, the sad thing is I did this without coffee. I got 147 clicks in 30 seconds...but I'm still not awake.

The Caffeine Click Test - How Caffeinated Are You?
Created by OnePlusYou - Online Dating Site

Friday, July 25, 2008

Change, Loss, And Learning, and Release

Things have changed some around the Smith home. I'm working again. I was taking the summer off from my job at the Day Care, but I got a call asking me to come back. It turns out the woman my friend got to cover me during the summer wasn't working out and the older kids, as well as one of her own kids, asked if she would call me and ask me to come back in. The preschoolers were asking where I was, too.

When I showed up last week, I was mobbed and given the biggest group hug I've ever been given. It was a lovely feeling. The older kids did the whole fist pump in the air thing, that was just as cool.

My guys are adjusting to the change. They know the reason behind it. And they know that come the start of the new school year, I'm going to be looking for a different job. We have plans to improve our lives, and my guys are adaptable and resilient and supportive. I am very proud of how they can roll with the changes that are presented to them, and turn to us for help when things seem too much for them. Amazing family makes a difference, as well. My parents are rocks in my children's lives. And my MIL is great, too

Loss. If you've been reading for a while, you know we lost Smith's Gramma. She was a lovely woman who accepted me and Snake with open arms. I loved my Grandmothers, and wrestled with feelings of them thinking I was betraying their memories by accepting Gramma the way I did. My Mom said, "No", they would understand. I hope so, because I loved them dearly.

My Sister-In-Law lost her Grandfather recently. I am sad for her loss, but lad she had the chance to have him in her life for so long. I hope she's gone for the funeral when this posts. I love my SIL, and want her to be happy. She and my Brother are a great pair. They are a wonderful couple who grow closer every year, and I hope they will always stay that way.

She and my Brother have come through big-time lately, they know what I'm talking about. My kids think their uncle is a cool guy, and Snake says, "He's got damn good cooking skills". (Comment sanctioned). Moose loved the mohawk my Brother gave him. Smith thinks he's a neat guy, too. And, just for the record, for all the fighting we did I love you dearly and wish things could have been different. For all three of us, yes, I have a sister, too.

The learning of just who can be depended on. It's something that I figured out long ago, and is reinforced every time something comes up when family needs to pull together. There seems to be one in every family, whether the family is 4 people or forty. There is usually a person who holds a grudge just because they were born.

That person is never able to let go of the human foibles of the other people in the family. That person refuses to let go of things that happened to them when they were 2 years old. Yes, bad things happened to you, but you weren't the only one. Do you know what people were willing to do to get revenge for you. When you were in jeopardy of losing everything, who did you turn to for help? And then who had to listen to "I just want to have fun", while taking care of another person while YOU ran around trying to ease your sorrow by by destroying a friend's life and a relationship that he'd vested much time in. Then when he decided to break that relationship, you dropped him for someone else. "Fun".Wish I could have floated around on a lake. "I just want to have fun"- read "I want to run around and pretend no one else exists, especially if that person is injured and needs help eating, bathing, and getting dressed. I'm going to be selfish and self-absorbed" "Fun" wasn't for the rest of us, you know, those of us who don't have mansions in La-La Land. That word nauseates me to this day.

It is time to let go of all the slights, real or imagined, and join reality.

This post may not be kind. Neither is life. And to quote something you said to someone else on a day they were having something life-changing done: "Have a nice day".

Thursday, July 24, 2008


I started this blog on a whim. It's grown since then, letting me get out things semi-anonymously. There are family members who know about it, and others who may not. My problem is this: I have some emotionally volatile statements I want to get out about a family member. Do I let fly full speed ahead, damning the torpedoes since our relationship is already strained? Or, do I continue being diplomatic, and have the backlog of venomous truths I've been holding in continue to eat at me, smiling while choking at the bitter taste in my throat?

There are several people who would urge me to let go of what I feel and forgive the other person. I will counter with this: you have no idea how hard it is to deal with someone who continually treats one of the people I love most in the world like a second class citizen and as little respect as can be gotten away with.

I NEED to get out what I'm feeling inside in a public, yet somewhat anonymous way. I need to get feedback from the people who drop by my little corner of Blogland. At the same time, I don't want to make it worse for those I deeply care about and love.

Thus is my conundrum. If you have a long reply, feel free to email me.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

A Sample Of What We've Been Listening To

I listen to all kinds of music. These are two of my favorites from my teen years. They're also the first tracks on a CD I burned for the car. Yes, Snake and Moose know the words to them. Hearing Moose sing "Little Bastard" is hysterical. You should have been around to hear them laughing to the second song. I'll let you hear it.

And, please, I know these probably aren't the most appropriate thing for them to listen to, it still beats most of the crud on the radio.

Enjoy. (Not responsible for damage to screen if drinking).

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

All Creatures Great And Small

I try not to post stories that can be read elsewhere, but this was so touching, I couldn't resist. I hope that somewhere, someone smiles from it.

How Christian the lion became a YouTube sensation

Surprising story behind the video that tugs heartstrings after 34 years

By Mike Celizic contributor
updated 8:27 a.m. PT, Tues., July. 22, 2008

The decades-old footage of a full-grown lion joyously embracing two young men like an affectionate house cat has made myriad eyes misty since it recently landed on YouTube. What is it about the old, grainy images of Christian the lion that has attracted some 3 million hits and counting?

Is it simply that a lion remembered the two men who raised it and then released it into the wild? Is it nostalgia for a simpler time 39 years ago, when you could walk into Harrods department store in London, stroll through the “exotic animals” section, and buy a live lion cub? Is it a longing for the swinging Austin Powers-era London of 1969, when you could take the animal home to a basement flat, play with it in a nearby churchyard, and even take it to dinner in swanky restaurants?

The answer may be all of the above. After all, people love animals, and there are few things as enthralling as a lion that could kill a person with one swipe of its paw acting like a pussycat with people who obviously love it. Top it off with Whitney Houston’s sentimental love song “I Will Always Love You” as background music, and you have keyboards shorting out all over America from the tears dripping on them.

TODAY played part of the video Tuesday with little comment or introduction, and when the grainy footage, originally shot on 16-mm film, was finished, Meredith Vieira was among the many in the studio wiping away tears.

Two hip Australians
The video is the work of Anthony “Ace” Bourke and John Rendall, two Australians living in the hip Chelsea section of London in 1969. According to published reports, a friend came back from a trip to Harrods and told them that you could buy exotic animals there.

The two friends went there out of curiosity and spotted a 35-pound lion cub in a small cage. The cub had been born in a zoo and sold to the department store, which wasn’t considered that unusual back then.

Bourke and Rendall felt sorry for the cub and bought it for 250 guineas. The store was glad to be rid of it, as the cub had broken out of its cage one night and wreaked havoc on a display of imported goatskin rugs.

Inspired by the Bible and a sense of irony, Rendall and Bourke named the lion “Christian,” a name that became even more appropriate when the Vicar of the St. John’s Church, which called itself the “Church at the World’s End,” gave the young men permission to exercise Christian in the churchyard.

The opening segments of the video show Rendall and Bourke romping with Christian and playing soccer with the lion. A lengthy story published by The Daily Mail newspaper last year said that the pair lived in a flat under the furniture store where they worked and ferried Christian about town in the back of a Bentley. Mick Jagger lived on the same street, and Christian became a local celebrity, even accompanying Rendall and Bourke into restaurants.

Growing pains
But after a year, the 35-pound cub had grown to 185 pounds. Feeding him was costing the friends 30 pounds a week, and in 1970, that was real money. They knew they couldn’t keep Christian, but didn’t know what to do with him.

As luck would have it, actors Bill Travers and Virginia McKenna dropped into the furniture store one day looking for a writing desk. The married couple had just finished filming “Born Free,” the inspirational story of Elsa, the lioness who is reintroduced to the wild, in which they played real-life naturalists George and Joy Adamson (Joy Adamson wrote the book on which the hit film was based). They suggested that Rendall and Bourke contact George Adamson in Kenya.

Rendall and Bourke flew with Christian to Kenya, where they and George Adamson introduced the lion to his natural habitat. When they felt sure he had a new family and a safe territory, the two friends went back to their lives in London. But they kept in touch with Adamson and made a few visits to Kenya to see Christian from afar.

But in 1974, Adamson lost touch with Christian for three months. When he told Rendall and Bourke, they decided to make one last trip to Kenya to attempt to say goodbye to Christian. The night before they landed, Adamson said, Christian suddenly reappeared and sat on a rock outside the naturalist’s camp — as if waiting for his pals.

Emotional reunion
The main part of the film shown on YouTube was shot the following day, when Bourke and Rendall went into the bush to attempt to see their old friend.

The color film has no sound. Subtitles tell the story, but they’re hardly needed. There are two

Christian's former owners had been told the lion wouldn't recognize them. But the video shows the lion's obvious joy at being reunited with the two men.

men in flared jeans and shaggy hair, and there is a lion. The huge carnivore approaches from a distance, slowly at first. Then recognition sets in, and soon everyone — men and beast — are hugging and crying.

Christian even brings one of the lionesses in his pride over to meet his former roommates. The Daily Mail story reports that the lioness was clearly not happy with Christian’s two-legged friends, and Adamson told Rendall and Bourke that it was time to leave. They went back to the camp, and Christian went with them, staying up late into the night as the humans partied with their friend.

The next day Christian walked back into the bush, where his lionesses were waiting. He was never seen again — but the power of the Internet guarantees that he will never be forgotten.

How wonderful Christian the lion remembered the men who raised him. How wonderful he survived, is part of a pride, and has offspring. Most of all, it is amazing how lucky he was to have been purchased by two men who truly cared for him. What an amazing situation.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Shamelssly Lifted From Another Blog

Jesus Was Not a Republican

It never ceases to amaze me how right wingers claim Jesus as some kind of mascot, yet spend all their time decrying welfare and social programs for the poor and calling for the eternal damnation of gays. Were Jesus on earth in the 21st century, he would be volunteering at AIDS clinics and helping uninsured families, not whining about the tax burden on wealthy soccer moms.

Now for my comment: I must say I agree, (case in point:Jesse Helms-may he boil in urine in Hell- see to find out)...and don't care if anyone else doesn't. After all I do have the power to delete comments, but I'll more than likely leave them up so have fun.

Halfway Through Coffee

Snake said to me, "Is it ok to use this sponge?", as mandarin orange syrup starts running off the table and onto the carpet. "YES!!!!!" Why is a kid who is so smart so stupid about everyday things? (Head in heads.) I'm going to get more aspirin today-the jumbo bottle.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Open For E-mail!!

Hey, everyone, if you want to send me an email, I'm set up to get it at .

I Get It Now

"They're penguins, just wipe the oil off the white part and throw them back in" - from Speed Racer The Next Generation.

I understand why my Mom let us watch some of the cartoon we did. "Rocky and Bullwinkle" is a different show now I'm able to catch all the stuff I missed as a kid. There are some fabulous one-liners in some of the shows I let the boys watch. (Well, to tell the truth, I watch the shows with them). Mom and I used to have our "quality" afternoon time watching "Tiny Toons", now that show had some great lines in it as well.

I'd love to find "Danger Mouse" on tv again. That was a great show. Anyone care to share their favorites?

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Random Thoughts

Why did the twit in the restaurant think that talking about her cyst "down there" was appropriate conversation? And not only did she yammer about it, she did so at a volume that could be heard by the diners at several tables around her's.

Why do the heaviest rotation of ads for medications for E.D.(limp d*ck syndrome), crotch funk, and constipation happen at dinner time? (Shame on us, we sometimes plop in front of the tube to eat).

Why does the kid who insists he doesn't have to use the toilet before we get into the car act like his bladder is going to explode 3 minutes after we drive away?

Why do my kids act like they are being raised in a barn, but when we are out they open doors for people, and I hear how polite they are?

I wonder if any of the crotch fruit I saw walking around on the 4th of July will ripen to maturity or just rot on the vine from the inanities they were spewing.

Moose made the comment that he "really needed to wear a helmet with a Mohawk, because (my) head isn't secure" as he rubbed the side of his head while he was roller skating.

Snake is developing a sense of humor, after claiming it was never going to happen. He's got a taste for the Britcoms and the typical 14 year old boy humor that runs rampant around here.

Moose had to deal with the death of not one, but two pet rats within two weeks of each other. Snake was a wonderful big brother and related how he felt when his first rat died. Luckily, one of the two original rats we got for the boys made it. My folks got Moose another rat, and her own cage set-up. We're hoping to move the two rats into the bigger cage soon, and are getting the two used to each other. (Both rats are female, and are the most darling little creatures you could imagine!)

It's been busy, and we're trying to keep our heads above the proverbial water. I hope all of you in Blogland are doing well, especially you Incognito - you've been in my thoughts.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Here We Go Again...

Me to Moose: "Put the gun down and get the sword out of your pants!" Just your usual day at the Smith's. I love having 2 boys.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Tonight we were sitting and relaxing, enjoying what passes for a calm moment in our patch of boy filled chaos when the phone rang.

Barely intelligible mumble: Hello, my name is "X", and I'm calling from (mumble) Research Group about milk and dairy products.

Me: Where?

"X": (Mumble) Research Group. Do you ever experience stomach upset?

Me: Only when I get unsolicited phone calls. Good night.


I do so love when caller ID says "Unknown Name, Unknown Number".

Monday, June 16, 2008

Sweet Liquid Sanity

I got passes for the local waterpark for me, Snake, and Moose today. It took a bite out of my pocketbook, but it was necessary. So we're going to be headed out at least once a week. The boys have had, and will be going to swimming lessons, so they have some water skills. Snake is the better swimmer and I'll be staying close to Moose the whole time, so we should have a good time when we go.

The only issue I have is that parking is not included in the season pass, and we can't bring food in. I'm going to have to invest in a large bag, something big enough for towels...and sandwiches under the towel, fruit gummies, bananas, and a HUGE bottle of water. If I go with a friend of mine we can split the parking fee.

I know we're in a drought, and I'm doing my darnedest to save water, so I won't feel guilty about this. With my boys the feelings of calm and sanity are fleeting. While it's true money can't buy you love, it can buy waterpark passes and sunscreen. I'm looking forward to the liquid sanity.

I'll bet you were thinking I was going to post about something else! ;)

Friday, June 13, 2008

What A Stand-Up Guy - NOT!

And this is a guy who spouts "family values"? This is the "man" the republitards, (sorry, honey), want for president? Sounds like a great guy to me.

The wife U.S. Republican John McCain callously left behind

By Sharon Churcher
Last updated at 1:45 AM on 08th June 2008

Now that Hillary Clinton has at last formally withdrawn from the race for the White House, the eyes of America and the world will focus on Barack Obama and his Republican rival Senator John McCain.

While Obama will surely press his credentials as the embodiment of the American dream – a handsome, charismatic young black man who was raised on food stamps by a single mother and who represents his country’s future – McCain will present himself as a selfless, principled war hero whose campaign represents not so much a battle for the presidency of the United States, but a crusade to rescue the nation’s tarnished reputation.

McCain likes to illustrate his moral fibre by referring to his five years as a prisoner-of-war in Vietnam. And to demonstrate his commitment to family values, the 71-year-old former US Navy pilot pays warm tribute to his beautiful blonde wife, Cindy, with whom he has four children.

But there is another Mrs McCain who casts a ghostly shadow over the Senator’s presidential campaign. She is seldom seen and rarely written about, despite being mother to McCain’s three eldest children.

And yet, had events turned out differently, it would be she, rather than Cindy, who would be vying to be First Lady. She is McCain’s first wife, Carol, who was a famous beauty and a successful swimwear model when they married in 1965.

She was the woman McCain dreamed of during his long incarceration and torture in Vietnam’s infamous ‘Hanoi Hilton’ prison and the woman who faithfully stayed at home looking after the children and waiting anxiously for news.

But when McCain returned to America in 1973 to a fanfare of publicity and a handshake from Richard Nixon, he discovered his wife had been disfigured in a terrible car crash three years earlier. Her car had skidded on icy roads into a telegraph pole on Christmas Eve, 1969. Her pelvis and one arm were shattered by the impact and she suffered massive internal injuries.

When Carol was discharged from hospital after six months of life-saving surgery, the prognosis was bleak. In order to save her legs, surgeonshad been forced to cut away huge sections of shattered bone, taking with it her tall, willowy figure. She was confined to a wheelchair and was forced to use a catheter.

Through sheer hard work, Carol learned to walk again. But when John McCain came home from Vietnam, she had gained a lot of weight and bore little resemblance to her old self.

Today, she stands at just 5ft4in and still walks awkwardly, with a pronounced limp. Her body is held together by screws and metal plates and, at 70, her face is worn by wrinkles that speak of decades of silent suffering.

For nearly 30 years, Carol has maintained a dignified silence about the accident, McCain and their divorce. But last week at the bungalow where she now lives at Virginia Beach, a faded seaside resort 200 miles south of Washington, she told The Mail on Sunday how McCain divorced her in 1980 and married Cindy, 18 years his junior and the heir to an Arizona brewing fortune, just one month later.

Carol insists she remains on good terms with her ex-husband, who agreed as part of their divorce settlement to pay her medical costs for life. ‘I have no bitterness,’she says. ‘My accident is well recorded. I had 23 operations, I am five inches shorter than I used to be and I was in hospital for six months. It was just awful, but it wasn’t the reason for my divorce.

‘My marriage ended because John McCain didn’t want to be 40, he wanted to be 25. You know that just does.’

Some of McCain’s acquaintances are less forgiving, however. They portray the politician as a self-centred womaniser who effectively abandoned his crippled wife to ‘play the field’. They accuse him of finally settling on Cindy, a former rodeo beauty queen, for financial reasons.

McCain was then earning little more than £25,000 a year as a naval officer, while his new father-in-law, Jim Hensley, was a multi-millionaire who had impeccable political connections.

He first met Carol in the Fifties while he was at the US Naval Academy in Annapolis. He was a privileged, but rebellious scion of one of America’s most distinguished military dynasties – his father and grandfather were both admirals.

But setting out to have a good time, the young McCain hung out with a group of young officers who called themselves the ‘Bad Bunch’.

His primary interest was women and his conquests ranged from a knife-wielding floozy nicknamed ‘Marie, the Flame of Florida’ to a tobacco heiress.

Carol fell into his fast-living world by accident. She escaped a poor upbringing in Philadelphia to become a successful model, married an Annapolis classmate of McCain’s and had two children – Douglas and Andrew – before renewing what one acquaintance calls ‘an old flirtation’ with McCain.

It seems clear she was bowled over by McCain’s attention at a time when he was becoming bored with his playboy lifestyle.

‘He was 28 and ready to settle down and he loved Carol’s children,’ recalled another Annapolis graduate, Robert Timberg, who wrote The Nightingale’s Song, a bestselling biography of McCain and four other graduates of the academy.

The couple married and McCain adopted Carol’s sons. Their daughter, Sidney, was born a year later, but domesticity was clearly beginning to bore McCain – the couple were regarded as ‘fixtures on the party circuit’ before McCain requested combat duty in Vietnam at the end of 1966.

He was assigned as a bomber pilot on an aircraft carrier in the Gulf of Tonkin.

What follows is the stuff of the McCain legend. He was shot down over Hanoi in October 1967 on his 23rd mission over North Vietnam and was badly beaten by an angry mob when he was pulled, half-drowned from a lake.

Over the next five-and-a-half years in the notorious Hoa Loa Prison he was regularly tortured and mistreated.

It was in 1969 that Carol went to spend the Christmas holiday – her third without McCain – at her parents’ home. After dinner, she left to drop off some presents at a friend’s house.

It wasn’t until some hours later that she was discovered, alone and in terrible pain, next to the wreckage of her car. She had been hurled through the windscreen.

After her first series of life-saving operations, Carol was told she may never walk again, but when doctors said they would try to get word to McCain about her injuries, she refused, insisting: ‘He’s got enough problems, I don’t want to tell him.’

H. Ross Perot, a billionaire Texas businessman, future presidential candidate and advocate of prisoners of war, paid for her medical care.

When McCain – his hair turned prematurely white and his body reduced to little more than a skeleton – was released in March 1973, he told reporters he was overjoyed to see Carol again.

But friends say privately he was ‘appalled’ by the change in her appearance. At first, though, he was kind, assuring her: ‘I don’t look so good myself. It’s fine.’

He bought her a bungalow near the sea in Florida and another former PoW helped him to build a railing so she could pull herself over the dunes to the water.

‘I thought, of course, we would live happily ever after,’ says Carol. But as a war hero, McCain was moving in ever-more elevated circles.

Through Ross Perot, he met Ronald Reagan, then Governor of California. A sympathetic Nancy Reagan took Carol under her wing.

But already the McCains’ marriage had begun to fray. ‘John started carousing and running around with women,’ said Robert Timberg.

McCain has acknowledged that he had girlfriends during this time, without going into details. Some friends blame his dissatisfaction with Carol, but others give some credence to her theory of a mid-life crisis.

He was also fiercely ambitious, but it was clear he would never become an admiral like his illustrious father and grandfather and his thoughts were turning to politics.

In 1979 – while still married to Carol – he met Cindy at a cocktail party in Hawaii. Over the next six months he pursued her, flying around the country to see her. Then he began to push to end his marriage.

Carol and her children were devastated. ‘It was a complete surprise,’ says Nancy Reynolds, a former Reagan aide.

‘They never displayed any difficulties between themselves. I know the Reagans were quite shocked because they loved and respected both Carol and John.’

Another friend added: ‘Carol didn’t fight him. She felt her infirmity made her an impediment to him. She justified his actions because of all he had gone through. She used to say, “He just wants to make up for lost time.”’

Indeed, to many in their circle the saddest part of the break-up was Carol’s decision to resign herself to losing a man she says she still adores.

Friends confirm she has remained friends with McCain and backed him in all his campaigns. ‘He was very generous to her in the divorce but of course he could afford to be, since he was marrying Cindy,’ one observed.

McCain transferred the Florida beach house to Carol and gave her the right to live in their jointly-owned townhouse in the Washington suburb of Alexandria. He also agreed to pay her alimony and child support.

A former neighbour says she subsequently sold up in Florida and Washington and moved in 2003 to Virginia Beach. He said: ‘My impression was that she found the new place easier to manage as she still has some difficulties walking.’

Meanwhile McCain moved to Arizona with his new bride immediately after their 1980 marriage. There, his new father-in-law gave him a job and introduced him to local businessmen and political powerbrokers who would smooth his passage to Washington via the House of Representatives and Senate.

And yet despite his popularity as a politician, there are those who won’t forget his treatment of his first wife.

Ted Sampley, who fought with US Special Forces in Vietnam and is now a leading campaigner for veterans’ rights, said: ‘I have been following John McCain’s career for nearly 20 years. I know him personally. There is something wrong with this guy and let me tell you what it is – deceit.

‘When he came home and saw that Carol was not the beauty he left behind, he started running around on her almost right away. Everybody around him knew it.

‘Eventually he met Cindy and she was young and beautiful and very wealthy. At that point McCain just dumped Carol for something he thought was better.

‘This is a guy who makes such a big deal about his character. He has no character. He is a fake. If there was any character in that first marriage, it all belonged to Carol.’

One old friend of the McCains said: ‘Carol always insists she is not bitter, but I think that’s a defence mechanism. She also feels deeply in his debt because in return for her agreement to a divorce, he promised to pay for her medical care for the rest of her life.’

Carol remained resolutely loyal as McCain’s political star rose. She says she agreed to talk to The Mail on Sunday only because she wanted to publicise her support for the man who abandoned her.

Indeed, the old Mercedes that she uses to run errands displays both a disabled badge and a sticker encouraging people to vote for her ex-husband. ‘He’s a good guy,’ she assured us. ‘We are still good friends. He is the best man for president.’

But Ross Perot, who paid her medical bills all those years ago, now believes that both Carol McCain and the American people have been taken in by a man who is unusually slick and cruel – even by the standards of modern politics.

‘McCain is the classic opportunist. He’s always reaching for attention and glory,’ he said.

‘After he came home, Carol walked with a limp. So he threw her over for a poster girl with big money from Arizona. And the rest is history.’

Thursday, June 12, 2008


I hate being a parent today. I despise every crotch fruit I have seen today and do not want to be around anyone under 25 right now. I'm going to take a bath now.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Thank You, Mom!

Your corruption was thoroughly and completely done. Now you take it and call me with your results.
Anyone else who wants to can tell me what they got.

Your Inner European is Russian!

Mysterious and exotic.

You've got a great balance of danger and allure.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008


Anyone remember the S.F. Zoo tiger attack? Check this out:

The San Francisco Medical Examiner says a teenager who was killed by an escaped tiger at the zoo had marijuana and alcohol in his system at the time. The toxicology report released Monday was included with an autopsy that concluded "blunt force injuries of the head and neck" killed 17-year-old Carlos Sousa Jr. Sousa had 6.6 ng/mL of Delta-9 THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, according to the report. The average person's level of Delta-9 THC decreases to less than 5 ng/mL about two hours after smoking, however that level varies from person to person depending on factors such as the strength of the marijuana and whether or not the person is a frequent user. Sousa's blood-alcohol, or ethanol level, was 0.04 percent, according to the report. Steve Gelman, medical examiner's office administrator, said Tuesday the results indicate that Sousa had recent exposure to marijuana and alcohol, but that he couldn't determine whether there was any level of impairment at the time of the attack. Sousa's two friends also were seriously injured when a 250-pound Siberian tiger escaped its enclosure at San Francisco Zoo on Christmas Day. Sousa's family has filed a negligence claim against the city as a precursor to a lawsuit. After the teen's death, it was revealed that the wall surrounding the tiger's enclosure was 4 feet lower than recommended industry standards. Michael Cardoza, a lawyer for the Sousa family, says "it's totally irrelevant" to the case whether the teen was drinking or smoking pot before the fatal mauling.

How the lawyer could say that it's irrelevant that doofus was smoking pot and drinking is mind boggling. You see, I was a stupid teenager. I remember how stupid I got when I smoked least I sort of do. Get the point? The asshole got what he invited upon himself.

The tiger is still removed from a very small gene pool. The dead kid is out of the gene pool. Now, if we could figure out some way to remove the Dhaliwal brothers from the gene pool. Shouldn't be too hard, it's fairly obvious they are swimming in the shallow end.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Maybe We'll Vacation Here

Apropos of "DEAD THING"

Roadkill will have to stay on Illinois roads

State money was drained on ice, snow removal; vultures left to clean up

updated 6:07 p.m. PT, Fri., May. 30, 2008

CARBONDALE, Ill. - The view along Illinois highways this summer should be beautiful — for the turkey vultures.

The state's transportation department says it won't be picking up as much roadkill left along roads because it spent too much of its budget during the winter.

IDOT said it spent more than twice the allotted $40 million on clearing ice and snow removal because of rising fuel costs and harsh weather last winter.

Dead animals in driving lanes and any deemed hazardous to motorists will be removed. But much of the rest will be left for scavengers.

Kevin Gillespie of the Jackson County Health Department said the roadkill might be smelly and gruesome, but it shouldn't lead to any health risks.

The department does not log the amount of roadkill it clears.

The kids won't have a chance to even start arguing.

Words I Thought I'd Never Say

I was watching an episode of "Supermax",(a documentary about prisons), and they were interviewing a white prisoner. He was talking about how he had been a member of the Crips gang and then he started reading "literature" about "the movement". (And no, he wasn't talking about going poop!) This guy decides he's going to have to become a white supremacist. So he trades in one gang membership for another. He goes on to talk about how if he ever gets out he's going to have to be on the lookout for some kid making his way up in the Crips by trying to kill him. Turns out this guy was getting out in 5 months from the taping of this show.

All I could say was, "Dude, you were better off staying a Crip".



Friday, May 30, 2008


I read an article about traveling with kids a while ago, and to be honest I thought most of it was the usual molly-codling nonsense that is spewed these days by people who are afraid to tell their child "No" for fear that it will somehow harm the child. (Wow, that's quite a sentence.) Well, it's worse to let a child grow up thinking it is entitled to whatever it wants. There was one thing I agreed on...Anyway, back to traveling.

We have a vehicle that is big enough for us, and then some. Even so, on longer trips and sometimes just going to the store, the car seems mighty small. We've driven through several states in one day, with the bag of books and stuff to keep the kids entertained - but I will NEVER have a DVD player in my car. Look out of the window for crying out loud.

One day in the car the boys were bickering and just wouldn't stop. We live in an area with a lot of wildlife, and the animals don't always make it across the road. The guys were arguing back and forth over some piddly kid stuff making me crazy, I'm grinding my teeth, trying not turn around and scream at them when I see salvation squished on the road. "Look kids: DEAD THING!"

Yep, what worked for the woman who wrote the article worked for me, too. The boys were too busy looking for the dead possum to argue anymore. Then I had them figure out what animal it was.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


I loved you very much. You will always have a special place in my heart. I hope Moose will have some solid memories of you, I know Snake does. For now I'll cry when I think of you. When tears turn to bittersweet smiles, I won't miss you any less, just be more used to missing you.


Sunday, May 18, 2008

Thanks To Kojak For This One

First check this out, it was my inspiration:

I was on WIC and TANF after I kicked my ex husband out. I worked my ass off to get off of TANF, but I was glad it was there as a safety net for me. And it hurt to be on it. I couldn't wait to get away from feeling like a bad parent because I couldn't provide for my child, even though everyone I knew said that TANF was set up for situations like mine.

What pissed me off was seeing the local ghetto mamas running around with the baby daddy hanging around. The mamas were getting all sorts of money even with the sperm donor in the picture. Because they weren't married she could say he wasn't around and the caseworker was so overloaded he/she couldn't really check out the situation thoroughly. And the baby daddy was most likely dealing drugs, or was a runner or lookout for the dealer and got a cut.

I've seen them rolling around in the Lexus, and from the dealer's license frame, I could tell they got the 10+ year car loan.There are all sorts of car dealers that will pull out all the stops as long as someone will co-sign for them.

I worked in a group home for adults with developmental disabilities and the house manager used the SSN of a client with a half-million dollar trust fund to co-sign for her new car. I thank The Powers That Be that she was finally caught, and question why it took so bloody long for it to happen.I've seen so much abuse of the system, it makes me ill to think of some of the things that I can recall.

I went to elementary school with a kid who used to come hang out with us because we "had food and we don't", according to him. He went hungry so the beast that spawned him could drive a Cadillac. I've seen kids walking to the same school this year eating dry ramen noodles. DRY RAMEN NOODLES, for crying out loud, breaking off a little piece and crunching as he walked. (You can always tell when they've been on sale.)

I try not to make snap judgments when I see food stamps or the card come out at the store. But when the people taking them out are decked out in "bling" and designer clothes - and I don't give a crap if they were purchased at Ross or Marshall's, it's abuse of the system and misuse of funds.

All the money should have to be accounted for. Receipts should be turned in to an auditing department or audited by caseworkers. People should be taught how to shop, and how to make choices that are going to stretch the money as far as it will go. How the hell do people who get handouts think the rest of us do it.

I know there are people on aid who genuinely need the help, and use it wisely. I also know, and have seen with my own eyes, the people who have the attitude that just because they produced crtochfruit, they deserve a handout. That makes my blood boil.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Dear Dog Owner

You know who you are. You are the one carrying "Precious" in your arms at the grocery store because it has "panic attacks" when it gets left in the car. You are the one saying "Oh, he's friendly, he'd never bite anyone" while it's chasing a kid because it's not on a leash. You are in Sears with your pit bull puppy because you don't trust your neighbors not to steal it from your yard while you are gone. You are the one pushing your freaking dog in a cart at Best Buy because you don't think the freaking rules apply to you and "Precious".

Well, guess what? Unless "Precious" is a service dog wearing a vest identifying it as such, you need to get it the f**k out of the store. Interesting thing called Health Codes prohibit animals from being in the store. The "panic attacks", well, those are something to bring up with your vet - and I don't think you're gonna find him on aisle 6 next to the shampoo, you stupid twat. And If you would treat your dog like a dog, instead of the crotch fruit you either couldn't have or won't speak to you because you are such a f****d up parent, the dog wouldn't have that "issue". Your friendly dog? I filed a vicious dog report with Animal Control because some a**hole's "friendly" dog nipped Moose twice. Worried about your pit disappearing - here's a radical idea that probably would never cross your dope addled brain: IF YOUR DOG IS REALLY A PET, KEEP IT INSIDE INSTEAD OF ON A CHAIN IN THE BACK YARD FOR IT'S WHOLE LIFE. If your dog can't walk and you feel it needs to be in a cart when you go shopping, don't leave home to shop. You see, in these modern days we have an amazing little thing called the Internet. And even better, you can purchase just about everything on the Internet. So you don't have to leave "Precious" at home alone or have it be uncomfortable in a cart. To the Moron who thinks his "friendly" dog won't bite, here's a news flash for you: 1)YOUR DOG HAS TEETH FOR A REASON. 2)IT IS A HERDING DOG AND NIPS TO GET THE OTHER ANIMAL'S ATTENTION. So please, keep it on a leash unless you want to find it's not coming back to you because my foot is planted down it's throat to keep my kids safe from you because you obviously think leash rules don't apply to you.

And to Shelly from Best Buy: Don't give me a bulls**t story about how there is no company policy about non-service dogs being in the store, because Jeremy at the customer service number said there most certainly was. Just because you don't want to deal with the female creature who walks on two legs and is the "Human Companion" of "Precious" spazzing out at you. Honey, it's part of your job, deal with it.

Before anyone who is still reading this stops, let me tell you I REALLY do love dogs. I grew up with usually at least one dog in our home, and it was just not right when we didn't have one. My ex and I rescued a dog that had been living on the street for almost a year. I worked with him every day and he turned into one of the gentlest creatures I've ever known. He tested my ex a lot, we got things straightened out pretty quickly. (I'm going to call this dog Fido for the rest of this post). Fido learned I was the boss and he relaxed around me. There was one day the ex, Fido, and I walked to the corner store and got popsicles. I ate mine and held Fido's out for him while the ex ate his. Fido loved the cherry/pineapple popsicles.

He was great with the kids, too. The only time he snapped at Snake was when Snake was three, and every time I turned my back on him, he tried to gouge out Fido's eyes with his thumbs. Fido backed up a step or three, yipped, and snapped at the air. To Snake's amazement, he was the one who got scolded, Fido got love, cuddles, and praise for being a good dog and not actually biting Snake. (I would have understood if Fido had bitten him). When Moose was born, he "asked" if he could sniff Moose. Fido did, oh so gently, then sniffed again. He walked away wagging his tail trying to figure out where Moose fit in the family pack. I felt absolutely safe leaving the boys in Fido's care in my parent's yard. He was an excellent baby sitter.

When we had to put him down I was devastated. I will never have another dog like Fido again. He was an amazing friend, and I grieve because I don't have more pictures of him. He lived out his life at my parents because he couldn't climb the stairs to our home, and he had dog friends there as well as cat friends. He was taught manners and when he forgot them, he was reminded quickly.

I'm fed up with people thinking they and their dogs are special and above the rules. Yes, moron, you are unique...just like everyone else. To all the responsible dog owners, thank you. To all the irresponsible ones, I hope you slip in your dog's poo and bust your head open.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

A Generation Ends, A Generation Begins

*Our kids are being given Official Blog Names tonight: Snake, the older boy, and Moose, the younger boy*

We are dealing with the last days of the long life of my Grandmother-In-Law, (Gramma). Gramma is a beautiful woman I feel honored to know. She took me into her home and life without a second thought. She argued with me over who was going to wash dishes after a dinner made for her, (she lost-I got into the kitchen first). We had a no-holds-barred argument one night that had us in tears and apologizing to each other later. Gramma told me a lot about her life, and I wish I could have heard more and recorded it so the kids could know more about her. She has lived a long life and passed on many of her wonderful qualities to Smith, like her kindness, and we have been trying to pass those basic qualities to the kids.
I had a long talk with my ex earlier today about Snake. He has been having long talks with a man that the ex's wife's godmother knows from her church. This man comes to the godmother's house,( the ex lives in the in-law unit in the back of the property), and does yard work. Apparently this man is homeless, and Snake has spent time,(supervised, Smith, don't spaz), talking with him and learning how he got to where he is now. This man is a Vietnam Vet, and was surprised that some fairly well off kid would be interested in his life's story. The ex says Snake has been out with him and seen people who look hungry on the street and given them his pocket change. (I know there are a lot of people scamming on the street. I can usually tell when someone is trying to get money for food as opposed to sitting there jonesing and trying to get enough money to score. I've pointed the difference out to the kids.)
Snake is not the easiest kid to deal with. But he's shown he's kind, thinks of other people, and can size people up. I'm glad the lessons have been sinking in. I'm glad those lessons were given to me and Smith, with all the differences of opinion we have it's good the core values are the same. And I'm glad we've managed to teach those lessons to Snake. I'm sure Moose is getting them, too.
The faces change, but the basic lessons stay the same, generation to generation.