Dear Dog Owner

You know who you are. You are the one carrying "Precious" in your arms at the grocery store because it has "panic attacks" when it gets left in the car. You are the one saying "Oh, he's friendly, he'd never bite anyone" while it's chasing a kid because it's not on a leash. You are in Sears with your pit bull puppy because you don't trust your neighbors not to steal it from your yard while you are gone. You are the one pushing your freaking dog in a cart at Best Buy because you don't think the freaking rules apply to you and "Precious".

Well, guess what? Unless "Precious" is a service dog wearing a vest identifying it as such, you need to get it the f**k out of the store. Interesting thing called Health Codes prohibit animals from being in the store. The "panic attacks", well, those are something to bring up with your vet - and I don't think you're gonna find him on aisle 6 next to the shampoo, you stupid twat. And If you would treat your dog like a dog, instead of the crotch fruit you either couldn't have or won't speak to you because you are such a f****d up parent, the dog wouldn't have that "issue". Your friendly dog? I filed a vicious dog report with Animal Control because some a**hole's "friendly" dog nipped Moose twice. Worried about your pit disappearing - here's a radical idea that probably would never cross your dope addled brain: IF YOUR DOG IS REALLY A PET, KEEP IT INSIDE INSTEAD OF ON A CHAIN IN THE BACK YARD FOR IT'S WHOLE LIFE. If your dog can't walk and you feel it needs to be in a cart when you go shopping, don't leave home to shop. You see, in these modern days we have an amazing little thing called the Internet. And even better, you can purchase just about everything on the Internet. So you don't have to leave "Precious" at home alone or have it be uncomfortable in a cart. To the Moron who thinks his "friendly" dog won't bite, here's a news flash for you: 1)YOUR DOG HAS TEETH FOR A REASON. 2)IT IS A HERDING DOG AND NIPS TO GET THE OTHER ANIMAL'S ATTENTION. So please, keep it on a leash unless you want to find it's not coming back to you because my foot is planted down it's throat to keep my kids safe from you because you obviously think leash rules don't apply to you.

And to Shelly from Best Buy: Don't give me a bulls**t story about how there is no company policy about non-service dogs being in the store, because Jeremy at the customer service number said there most certainly was. Just because you don't want to deal with the female creature who walks on two legs and is the "Human Companion" of "Precious" spazzing out at you. Honey, it's part of your job, deal with it.

Before anyone who is still reading this stops, let me tell you I REALLY do love dogs. I grew up with usually at least one dog in our home, and it was just not right when we didn't have one. My ex and I rescued a dog that had been living on the street for almost a year. I worked with him every day and he turned into one of the gentlest creatures I've ever known. He tested my ex a lot, we got things straightened out pretty quickly. (I'm going to call this dog Fido for the rest of this post). Fido learned I was the boss and he relaxed around me. There was one day the ex, Fido, and I walked to the corner store and got popsicles. I ate mine and held Fido's out for him while the ex ate his. Fido loved the cherry/pineapple popsicles.

He was great with the kids, too. The only time he snapped at Snake was when Snake was three, and every time I turned my back on him, he tried to gouge out Fido's eyes with his thumbs. Fido backed up a step or three, yipped, and snapped at the air. To Snake's amazement, he was the one who got scolded, Fido got love, cuddles, and praise for being a good dog and not actually biting Snake. (I would have understood if Fido had bitten him). When Moose was born, he "asked" if he could sniff Moose. Fido did, oh so gently, then sniffed again. He walked away wagging his tail trying to figure out where Moose fit in the family pack. I felt absolutely safe leaving the boys in Fido's care in my parent's yard. He was an excellent baby sitter.

When we had to put him down I was devastated. I will never have another dog like Fido again. He was an amazing friend, and I grieve because I don't have more pictures of him. He lived out his life at my parents because he couldn't climb the stairs to our home, and he had dog friends there as well as cat friends. He was taught manners and when he forgot them, he was reminded quickly.

I'm fed up with people thinking they and their dogs are special and above the rules. Yes, moron, you are unique...just like everyone else. To all the responsible dog owners, thank you. To all the irresponsible ones, I hope you slip in your dog's poo and bust your head open.