This Is News?

OK, my sarcastic ass is watching "morning news" and the "bubbly" female anchor is talking with a field reporter about her trip to Beijing for the Olympics. They were talking about the air quality, and she said that the weather was beautiful when she was there. He commented how lucky she was, then she said she went to the Great Wall "and inhaled". ...No kidding, doesn't everyone, I mean that is part of breathing, right? Then she went on to say how surprised she was about how "modern" Beijing was. Once again, my mouth took off and I blurted out: "What were you expecting, mud huts?".

Where do they get these people? C'mon.

Go Get Him!!!

Smith and I were watching Moose play his "Cars" video game. He's making McQueen drive all over, bounce into walls and other cars. I commented on how badly he was driving this morning compared to last night. Just then, he pulled something that had us look at each other and both Smith and I said, "That was a pretty good 'PIT'".

On the other hand, Snake will be back later. Then we get out clothes for the first day of school. They made it through the summer! Now we'll see about this school year.

Quit Being Greedy!!!!

George Lucas has a new "Star Wars" movie coming out. Why? The fist one was pretty good. (And I'm going in the order the movies came out, I don't buy the whole "I had a vision I couldn't realize until now" bullshit.) The second was ok. Then there was the third. The dancing Ewoks? Blow up the Deathstar and everything is fine? Riiiiiiight. Then there were the abominations that were the second trio of movies that were released. Thankfully I don't remember much about them,unfortunately I do remember them being horrible.

If you want to get the first three movies on DVD you can, but they've got a whole bunch of extra crap added to them. You see, there wasn't the technology for Georgie to do what he wanted to do with the movies. Awww, too bad-no, wait, I don't really mean that. I wasn't going to get them anyway, but it would be nice to have a choice other than VHS.

I remember the toys being cool. And we had a ton of action figures. My Brother had a Millennium Falcon that lit up and made noise. Too bad he left it at a friend's house and the friend took it into the bathtub and ruined it. He also had an X-wing. My sister had a Tie-fighter. I don't remember what I had.

These days, it's the toys, action figures, Legos, video games, and whatever else can be thought up to have kids begging their parents to spend money on. And, the stuff comes out before the bloody movie!!!

I saw the preview for "Spend Now-Gimme Money", hold on...it was "star wars-clone wars". I couldn't believe it. Doesn't George Lucas have enough money without foisting another lousy "tie-in" movie on us? And it's as if he knows he's lost the adult audience because this is an animated movie.

Who's going to be clamoring to see it? At this point it's just the star wars nerds and kids! I already told my kids there was no way I was going give George any more money for the Star Wars stuff that he's churning out. I refuse to rent any of the movies. And if I should ever run into him, I've got one thing to say to him: " Quit already and stop being greedy!!!".

What Did You Say?

....That's what my friend said to me today after I got off the phone with Smith. Let me explain, first I called called his cell phone. It was after noon, I expected him to answer. When he didn't, I called home where he did answer. The conversation went like this:

Him: Hello

Me: Hi, I guess you don't have your pants on, do you?

(Now pick your mind up out of the gutter!)

Him: Nope, I've still got my shorts on, my jeans are in the bedroom.

Me: This is going to make an interesting blog entry.

Hope you liked it!!! We try to have a good time around here.

You Made It!!!

Happy Birthday to you, Moose! I hope you enjoyed it, and gt what you wanted. You are a great kid, frustrating at times but also thoughtful beyond your tender years. I love you lots, too!

Here's To You, Kid!

Happy Birthday, Snake, I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's hard to believe you've been around for as long as you have. Even though there are times I wanted to trade you in for a puppy, I wouldn't have you any other way but as you are.

I love you lots.

Don't Call Them "Light Bulbs"...

..because they aren't. They are Dark Suckers. Turn on a Dark Sucker and look at the area around it. Go ahead, this will be here when you get back...see how the area closest to the Dark Sucker is brighter than an area farther away? That's because the Dark Sucker is only effective for a certain distance from it. The bigger and more powerful the Dark Sucker is, the more dark it can suck up. And, they don't "burn out", they're just full of dark and need to be replaced.

Get it?

"How Do They Turn On Those Switches?"

Such an innocent question uttered by Moose at dinner. We went out to eat, and on the wall close to the ceiling were what looked like switch plates. I just couldn't help myself...I felt it starting before I knew what I was doing.

"Ceiling Gnomes. There are gnomes that live and work up there. They get to the switch by taking out the light fixture and then they use tools that reach the switch. The Ceiling Gnomes are also in charge of replacing the light bulbs when they go out, too."

I can't help it, things like this just flow from me. What's worse is Smith goes along with it.