Sunday, April 6, 2008

I'm Being Unashamedly Mushy

I am so lucky to have my life's path cross the path of the wonderful man I am married to. We often say the same thing , with the very same inflection. We are able to come up with the exact word the other one needs or say the next word in the sentence being spoken. We start singing the song we're listening to at the same time so much our older child has commented on it.
My husband was away last week and will be away this week, also. When he came home this weekend, I was overjoyed to hear his key in the lock. I was surprised by how strong my feelings of happiness, relief, excitement, and delight were. I just held him and took in the scent of his skin, my eyes tearing as I realized how much I missed my partner.
Even though we talked to each other daily and were able to send text messages, and see each other thanks to the cheap web cams we'd gotten last year, I missed him so much my chest ached if I thought about it too long. For the most part the boys kept me busy during the day so that wasn't too bad. But there were times that were, and I felt so heartbreakingly lonely and lost.
A few times when he called and caller ID showed it was him, my breath caught and my heart raced. I felt like a teenager in the throes of that first all-consuming passionate love; the one that makes you feel as if the world will end if he doesn't call. I answered the phone and I'm sure I sounded like an idiot, because I felt so irrationally shy and tongue-tied it was a miracle I could say anything at all. When we ended some of our conversations, I wanted to weep because even though the kids were at home with me, I was going be without my other half and felt achingly
I have never been in a relationship like this one. We've been together for ten years and it seem like less time than that has passed, but also like we've known each other forever. I trust this man implicitly and have from the beginning. THAT speaks volumes to anyone who knew what I had been through in the relationship prior to this one.
Many years ago I sent a series of postcards to my husband with beautiful pictures of people in love and wrote quotes I thought that told him how I felt about him. I'd quote bits of poetry or song lyrics. He still has them, just like I have cards he's given me. Everything I wrote still rings true. And here's another one this, time from Bob Dylan's "Boots Of Spanish Leather":
Oh, but if I had the stars from the darkest night
And the diamonds from the deepest ocean,
I'd forsake them all for your sweet kiss,
For that's all I'm wishin' to be ownin'.

I call him my knight in shiny armor and when I stop to examine my emotions, I am astounded at the depth of what I feel. I hope everyone in the world has a chance to feel as mushy about another person as I do.


Anonymous said...

I have the same feelings about my wife.We have been married 6yrs.

Officer "Smith" said...

Awwww, shucks....

Front Porch Society said... cute!! Mushy indeed but this kind of mushy is good! ;)