I Keep Telling Smith We Don't Have It That Bad

Whenever Snake and Moose are driving me crazy or teasing each other, I check out an episode of "Nanny911". A few minutes of watching the screaming, bad-mannered, ill-tempered, rotten crotchfruit on that show, and the ineptitude of some of the parents who can't figure out basic parenting skills, I feel much better about the way our kids act and our parenting skills.

Some of those kids can't sit down at the table at home, and taking them to even a fast-food place is a nightmare. Snake was four days old when he was plunked down on a restaurant table for the first time in his carrier. Moose was three days old when he went to the park the first time because Snake needed to run around after being inside for several days.

Believe it or not, we had waiters arguing over what section we were going to sit in when Snake was a toddler, and also later when he was older and Moose was in a high chair. Why? Because when one of them would get restless, we'd take him outside to run around a while. We also understood that kids make messes, and when there was food scattered all over the floor or a drink had been spilled, we left an extra large tip. There were even times when I found out who was busing our section and apologized for the mess and gave him a few dollars.

Our kids aren't perfect, far from it. Snake is going through the mouthy stage, and he and Moose have a tendency to not hear us if they are engrossed in something and don't want to stop.
And at times they go at each other so badly I want to shove them up their own bums until they disappear in a pouf of greasy smoke. Yes, Snake did accidentally stab Moose with a bamboo spear. But they've never dropped a laundry basket from the second floor onto the head of the other, either.

Sometimes I get frustrated and want to leave them on the side of the road. But we really don't have it that bad. I love my guys.