It was a fun run, but it's over. At least for now. Once I get my butt out into the general work force and have to change name's to protect identities, we'll see what happens. I'll still be on and commenting here and there, but for now I'm done. Thanks for peeking in to my infrequent glimpses into my world!
One year since 2 deaths. One year of watching Smith leave, and hoping he'd come home. One year of watching the kids, and wondering if they had the same hope and wish that I do. The other night I started thinking about how it had been one year, and was hit with a wave of fear I'd never felt before. I wound up curling against Smith and holding on tightly, not caring about how hot it was that night. Maybe he knew what was going through my head, because he didn't move away and I got to hold on until I was ready to let go.
I was in a room filled with lots of big men when originally aired. I have never been in a room that full and that quiet. The only sounds were the music and sniffling. I called my Mom and cried...and still cry to this day when I hear this song.
These are a few "words" I've gotten when I responded to blog entries. I've gotten some real words, but some of the nonsense ones are more fun. I've tried to come up with meanings for some. (Yup, I'm a bit of a dork.)
remicem, priala
Remicem (ray-mee see-em): It's a parasite that causes you to talk about everything you have looked at during your life.
Priala (pree-ah-la): The moment before you start singing.
Could someone be born a black male, grow up and look like a white female before just looking freaky, be creepily fond of sharing his bed with 11 year old boys proclaiming that this is something the world needs more of, deny having plastic surgery while his face collapses from it in front of the world, and be able to get away with shrouding children who were carried to term by his doctor's nurse. Is it any wonder he got the nickname "Wacko Jacko"?
Yup, Michael Jackson died today. We leave you tonight with a look through the years..
( I know Farrah Fawcett died today, too. She left with grace, and I respect her for chronicling her last years and her struggle with cancer.)
I have to love them. They say some of the funniest things. Remember Moose's use of the word "inflated"? I gave Snake a line on the way to school one morning while passing road construction. There was a "big steamy load" of asphalt that had been put on the street. (Yes, I know, I should think before I open my mouth, but sometimes the words just come out before I can stop them.)
They quote lines from "Hot Fuzz". "Have you ever fired your gun into the air whilst yelling 'Aarrrr'?" If you haven't seen it, please do. There are some wonderful lines in that movie. Also used is "Mmmmm mmmmm, tastes good" from "Balls of Fury". The other day we were driving along, talking about assorted things, and Moose called out "DEAD THING!!" from the back seat.
If anyone has some suggestions for more movies with great lines in them, I'd love to get them. Maybe them I'll be able to get them from saying "Sorry about your penis, dude!" whenever they see a Hummer go by...
Woycechowsky, you may be a lawyer, but you have no idea what was going through Mesherle's head when the shooting happened. And that, sir, is the only thing that counts.
Let me let you in on something. My Mother was on a Police Commission. This civilian oversight was set up after abuses happened, and no one is denying police abuse can happen. What I learned from watching the inquiries into shootings and complaints being handled boils down to this: the only way to figure out what was going through the Officer's head is to put yourself in his/her place IN THE MOMENT.
While it is convenient to sit back and armchair quarterback the situation watching videos in your mother's basement, or wherever your hole is, you cannot get an idea of what was happening from the Officer's perspective.
Think about it, you get a call to report to a fight and the people you told to stop and sit down decide they are going to keep on moving back onto the train. When you try to physically stop them from doing so, they start to fight you even though they are supposed to do what you tell them to do. More and more people yell and jeer and "step up" to the scene and involve themselves in something they have no business getting involved in. The situation is deteriorating and one of your fellow Officers loses his professional demeanor and hits someone who may or may NOT be in cuffs. You are in more and more danger as time goes by and people are continuing to refuse to do what they are being told to do. You think you have one thing in your hand and tell people you are going to use that, but instead your gun goes off. Now you are really fucked,(sorry about the language honey), because most of the people think you shot the person because of his skin color.
You don't freak out and say "I didn't mean to shoot him" over and over because that isn't how you react, because of this people think you meant to shoot the person. On top of that, instead of being removed from the scene and telling your side of what happened to supervisors the way a shooting should be handled, you are allowed to go home. While you are at home, you find you are being skewered in the news, your chief isn't staying neutral about the situation, every person with video is selling it the highest bidder thus continuing the furor over the situation, you and your family are getting death threats, AND your very pregnant wife has your baby.
Would you be willing to go back and become the sacrifice the masses are demanding? Keep in mind, these are some of the same people who cheered and danced in the street when four Oakland officers were killed by a child raping thief who was out on parole and even his family admitted he was more interested in smoking dope and drinking than turning his life around. I wouldn't.
But I know something you don't seem to grasp. I know I wasn't there in Mesherle's head watching it unfold, and I know that I have to try to piece it together like I was. Without listening to the people screaming "They shot him cos he was a brotha", without the passion that something like a seemingly innocent person being killed by anyone brings out in people. I know that I would have to listen to all sides, and see all video- without enhancement, before coming to conclusions.
Can you stop putting yourself in the judge's head, where it doesn't belong, and do that? If not go back to your patent office and play with whatever gadgets people send you and stay away from my husband's and any other law enforcement blogs.
You see, sir, I am mild as Police Wives go. You may not get as nice a response to your sophomoric idiocies elsewhere.
Now go away, or I will taunt you (with rational thought) a second time.
Those two words will bring Smith running to my rescue. It doesn't matter if he's in bed, bathroom, or work. (Yes, several years ago, before he was with the PD, I called him and cried, "KILL IT!!!!", into the phone.) I can run out of a room shrieking, and don't have to say anything, Smith knows what to do.
He will bravely grab some tissues, or a shoe, and is off to do battle and save me from a nasty eight legged beast. Yes, when it comes to spiders I am a girly-girl. Especially after the bite that gave me 2 inch pitting edema on my foot and made it hard to walk because of the pain.
And I secretly love it when Smith saves me from them.
After the Officer Down and budget cut stories I read on a police wives forum, this story was a nice change and I wanted to share.
A thunderbolt clapped Wednesday night, and Bear the police dog, apparently spooked by the noise, took off, leaping over a fence and into the night.
He wasn't seen again until Sunday morning, when a man walking to a hardware store spotted him near a cemetery on the border between Evergreen Park and Chicago.
Bear looked up and cocked his head quizzically, Howard Overton said. "I said, 'That looks like the dog on the news.' "
Overton flagged down a nearby police car, and a few minutes later, the officer tracked Bear down. A scan of the microchip in his neck confirmed his identity.
By midday, the 2 1/2 -year-old German shepherd was reunited with his handler, Canine Unit Officer Rick King. At a news conference Sunday afternoon, Bear, who panted happily as he soaked up the attention from reporters, appeared to have suffered few effects from his days away from home.
"He's a little shaggy and a little dirty," King said. "But otherwise, he seems fine."
King took Bear out into the backyard of his home in the 3800 block of West 109th Street about 10:30 p.m. during a break in Wednesday's thunderstorms to allow the dog to relieve himself.
Then, rolling thunder startled him, and he suddenly headed for the corner of the yard, where a neighbor's 5-foot wooden fence meets King's fence; climbed it; and disappeared.
King said he had slept about five hours since Bear vanished and had followed up calls of found dogs from as far north as Montrose Avenue.
"It's like your child. Animal lovers will know what I'm talking about," King said.
King said the dog was most likely hunting small animals in the wooded areas of the Far Southwest Side.
"He's a little hunter," he said.
McClatchy-Tribune News Service
I shamelessly lifted these from Post Secret. I usually find a postcard there that touches on something I've been though. (Sometimes it's scary.) Here are some things that spoke to me, I hope they speak to you.
You can do anything. But not everything.
No matter how low you consider yourself, there is always someone looking up at you wishing they were that high.
The world is speaking to you every day. You just don't always know how to listen.
llegitimus non carborundum - don't let the bastards grind you down.
It''s okay to be afraid, but don't let that fear hold you back. Instead, have it push you forward, breaking through the barrier you thought was there.
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
The true test of your character will be in how you treat those you DO NOT have to be nice to.
Feel the pain. Let it engulf you. Then let it go.
Failure isn't falling down -- It's staying down.
The wisdom of Dr. Seuss will always ring true in life.
"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There will never be anyone youer than you."
Find something here to carry you through your day. I'd like to know what speaks to you.
I passed my midterm. I didn't do as well as I'd hoped, but I got the 80% of better needed. I need to go back to the way I was doing things before the first midterm, and I'll probably do better on the final.
If I could get the kids to not launch into sibling warfare as soon as my books come out, I'll do really well for the rest of class.
I know someone, very dear to me, who has a problem. She eats, eats, and eats. Then she vomits...
And I'm usually the one who steps in it...
I'm going to rename my cat "Bulimia".
I have my second midterm tomorrow in my Pharmacy Tech class. Ugh. I can't get any more into my brain. I am so tired.
Yes, things have changed. Those in the know will understand the symbolism, those that don't can guess. I'll let you know if you're correct.
I'll get my goodies up and running soon. And post more soon. (At least I'll try!)
Yes, I am still alive, Smith would have let you know if I was gone, I'm sure. I've been busy with kids and class.
One thing I would like to get out is my disgust of boys in hot rods. Yes, sweetie, you do have a fast car. Yes, it is a sweet ride. If you could drive it, I'd be impressed. You see, just because you can go really fast in a straight line doesn't mean you can drive.
Driving is about reading the flow of traffic and being able figure out what the other cars are going to do. Driving is maneuvering through traffic, finding the holes that open up for a moment and give a chance to get away from the guy riding your tail. Or getting away from the woman in the Mercedes talking on her phone with the BMW on her tail because the Beemer can't drive either It's not about flying up on someone's rear bumper and riding a few feet from it. Anyone can do that.
I love maneuvering through traffic. Especially when I have some young punk in a Charger, Mustang, or some other "fast" car behind me. When I am able to spot a place where a hole is going to open up, wait for the right moment, make my move, and leave the guy behind it makes my day. When I see that guy stuck behind the person who was making me nuts because they were going 10 miles under the speed limit after he was riding my tail, I figure he got what he deserved.
But, when that guy had been following me throug the openings I saw, try to pass me and not be able to because he misread the flow and has to get back in behind me I have to say the feeling I have is pure smugness. What makes it even better is that I drive a minivan. Yes, it's a minivan, but I drive it.
So, do you go fast down the road, or do you drive?
In light of this, I want people to know how glad I am when Smith comes home after work. (And I understand how angry he is right now.)
How would YOU handle it on a daily basis if your husband and the father to your kids, had a good chance of not making it home at night? I'm lucky, I have family and a group of friends whose husbands are officers to rely on. I hope I never have to rely on them for the kind of support the families of Sgt. Mark Dunakin, Ervin Romans, and Daniel Sakai, are getting now. I cannot begin to imagine how the family of Sgt. John Hege must feel, with him in the hospital, waiting to see if he makes it.
I get a kiss every morning before he leaves, and I make sure to give Smith one every time he walks back through the door to me. Their families won't be getting that greeting anymore.
This morning while Snake was taking a shower, Moose got his revenge. I was up front and heard, "What the hell?!! Turd!" When Moose came out with a smug look on his face, I asked if he dumped cold water on Snake. He said yes, and then went into graet detail about how he did it. I tried not to smile, and told him to eat his breakfast.
Snake came out, and the first thing I said to him was, "You aren't doing a thing to your brother. He got you back for all the times you've done it to him". Snake looked at me a bit disgusted, but accepted it.
I warned him this day was coming. And I had to chuckle when it did.
Blue, orange, pink, black, little white puffs, green and black. Beautiful colors, right?
I would normally agree with you, but I've seen them in some of the worst places. Blue was on carrots. Orange was on pineapple slices. Little white puffs were on the crunchy ends of dressing. Green was on potatoes, so was black. The pink? I NEVER thought spaghetti could turn that color. Isn't mold lovely.
I'm not telling what fridge I found those goodies in, but it wasn't mine.
Today Snake was eating an apple. I looked up to see him take a bite. And then it looked like he rubbed it across his face to his ear. My eyebrows went up. He took another bite, then rubbed the apple on his face again. A third and fourth time, and I said "Why are you rubbing the apple on your face???"
He looked up, saw the expression on my face and said he wasn't rubbing it on his face. Oh, no, he had a perfectly good reason. A reason only a child of mine could come up with. With a look of wonder on his face, he said, "Mom, when I bite it, it makes a sizzling sound."
My older child is a weirdo. And I love him dearly.
Tonight while we were at dinner, there was a "gentleman" sitting behind me talking. He wasn't speaking loudly, nor was he swearing. No, he was going on about how good he was at one of the things that raises my hackles. Drunk driving.
He was going on and on about how he had been out and had four glasses of wine, and then was offered a Bombay martini, so he couldn't say no to it, and then he drove home. -Oh, no he told his dinner mates he got home just fine. He doesn't like to do it, so he doesn't do it too often. And he said he would just tell whoever pulled him over it was a mistake to drive that way and he was sorry. Also where he lives isn't patrolled much so he usually gets home alright, as long as no one is in front of him.
It took everything I had in me not to turn around and tell him what an asshat I thought he was. How dare he play roulette with other people's lives like that. If something ever happened to my family because of a drunk driver, I don't honestly know what I would do. I HATE drunk drivers, and think they should get no leniency. Instead of talking to him, I told our server what he had been saying. She spoke to the manager, and she started looking at the ticket for that table and they were going to watch him closely to make sure he didn't leave smashed. If that happened, the restaurant could be held liable for any damage he caused.
To me, drunk drivers rank up there with child molesters and people who prey on the elderly. They should be dealt with harshly.
I am lucky to be as loved as I am by as many people who love me. I love them back. And I hope that all of you have someone who makes you feel as cared forl as I do.
...since I posted anything. Sorry about that. I've been busy studying. For what? To work in a pharmacy. So I've bee trying to memorize 125 drug names. Well, it's really more like 250 names because we have to know the brand and generic names of the drugs. The homework is intense, but I'm doing ok in the class. In order to pass you have to get 80% or better, and people have already been dropping like flies. Then there are the ones who show up even though they've been scoring 7 out of 20 on the quizzes. And there are at least 3 quizzes every class. (Luckily class is on Saturday.) So I've been a little busy with studying.
And today, after feeling miserable for a few days with whatever nasty bug got dragged home by whomever, I have company. Both Snake and Moose are home, too. Smith is feeling lousy, too. He's spreading the misery at work, though.
Hopefully I'll be back sooner with something more interesting that snot fountain stories.
Abortion has been safe and legal now for 36 years. I hope it stays that way. And I will do what I can to keep it legal, and women safe from back-alley abortions that could kill them. I believe it is the choice of that individual woman, her partner if she chooses, and her doctor. It is a difficult decision to make, and I will never hold a woman's choice against her.
And thank you President Obama, for lifting the global gag rule on family planning groups.
I will not tolerate attacks on me for my views. If you choose to post a response, I expect it to be civil.
Moose was been home from school sick last week. We were sitting next to each other and he was still in his pj's. He looked at me and very seriously explained, " Mom, you know when my pj's are up like this, it's because my penis is up. It's up because it's inflated with pee. That's why it stands up sometimes" (He really DID use inflated!) So I looked at him very seriously said back to him, "Why don't you go to the bathroom?" He jumped up and ran off after saying"Ok!"
I tried to laugh quietly until he was on the way back.
Boys. 
...how those punk "protesters" would react to a store owner standing just inside of their shop filming them.
I must say how ironic it is that one of them was on the news carrying a sign saying "The streets aren't safe". Really, I mean, really. No shit, especially from morons like you and the "young brutha" who just wanted to express his anger by using his skateboard to break a window.
Go home, any point you wanted to make about the violence of others has been soured by the violence you have wrought.
Right now like a lot of other people, and for various reasons, I feel anger toward the BART Police. One of the big differences between me and a lot of the other angry people? I'm not destroying the city I freaking live in. What a bunch of morons.
Well, here it is. 2009. Have I made any resolutions? Nope. I've got some goals to meet, and will work on those.
We had a quiet evening and hung out with the kids watching "Hot Fuzz" and "Indiana Jones, Crystal Skull". If you can believe it, I had to ask Smith what the second movie we watched was. (I wasn't too interested in Indy this time.) We've seen Hott Fuzz several times and usually spot something neww each time. If you haven't seen it, go rent it!! Believe it or not Moose picked that one out.
So we watched movies at home and munched on a spread laid out on the table after Smith got home. I usually don't cook on New Year's Eve, so we made a deli, and Costco richer for my laziness last night. The kids picked some things out that they wanted. Moose wanted "stinky cheese", (Camenbert), and Snake wanted "fancy ham", (prosciutto). Ya, our kids are foodies - they don't have any other option, really.
At midnight we sipped champagne and kissed (of course!), the kids had sparkling pear juice, and then they ran outside. Smith pulled out his...3 packs of 15 year old firecrackers and the guys blew them up. It was a great night.
We slept in late, had our cinnamon rolls and bacon, (just like Christmas).nd the boys are now outside running around with a friend. Smith and I or sitting around watching the tube and playing on our computers. We have a trip planned for tomorrow, we're going to Monterey.
I hope every one has a good 2009, and gets everything they want from it! Best wishes to you all!
